Bouquet of Life

I found another rendition of Del-e-Koochooloo. Composer Anoushiravan Rohani plays the pinano with Mahyar Bahraminasab on Tombak with a symphony and opera singers. Delightful!

Life has been crazy for me lately. I know life is crazy, because I haven't been able to keep my blogs up, and this being my refuge, my home, and where I write from my heart, you will know that my life has been really crazy!

I wished I had something good to show for all the hard work and the distractions. I don't. I'm stuck in a whirlwind which saps all my energy and leaves me exhausted all the time, without any tangible fruit. It is getting to me and I hate it when anything gets to me. One of these days I will have to stop and go back to page 1, where I will have to re-group and re-prioritize my life. I know it has to be done and I've been putting it off. Not good.

On a happier note, my niece and her husband will arrive from Tehran tomorrow. There is something really exciting and a little sad about their move to the US. It's exciting because I love my niece who has been the last member of my immediate family still living in Tehran, and it will be good for all of us to be reunited finally. It is sad, because all of a sudden I am aware that Tehran will never be the same for me again. The thought of having no family to go back to is a sad one. I know I will still have secondary and distant relatives and beautiful new and old friends in Iran, but something important will be missing in my life from now on.

Anyhow, I have been so aware of my posessions in life recently. Mostly non-material, I hold a beautiful and colorful bouquet of assets in my arms these days--my relationships. I am all the more cognizant of that wealth these days, as I have been missing my friends and family a lot. I think I need to start making up for my neglect. I'll start here and work my way through all that I have to do to celebrate my bouquet of life. Have a good Thursday everybody!

In The Attic Of My Mind

Photo by Sanaz from her recent trip to Tehran, Iranian.com, January 14, 2008. I missed Tajrish so much today.

I have been a little under the weather. When I'm sick and bored, too weak to accomplish anything, I have no choice but to think and reflect. I have been thinking, which could be a dangerous thing for me! I have been remembering moments, snippets of conversations, fleeting feelings, and lasting memories. It's really rather funny. We won't talk about just how old I am, but let's just say that I have been around the block a few times and back! In all of the things I have done in my life, the places I have been, the people I have met, the meetings I attended, the trips I have taken, the things I have owned, and the things I have lost, my boldest memories, the ones that I keep near and dear to my heart, are all in really simple, ordinary, and very austere settings. For example, a trip I took to somewhere far. I may remember something that happened, something which was said or done on that trip. The thing that I remember is not about how posh the hotel was in which I stayed, or where in the airplane that took me there I sat, or in which fancy restaurants in that faraway place I ate. It is almost invariably a memory of a conversation, a meeting, or a feeling I had in a roadside cafe, or walking down the street when the rain broke out, or the scents I smelled while visiting the downtown area of that city. Somehow, somewhere in my mind, the opulence or physical attributes of the experience are diminished to zero, leaving me with only the essence of the experience and the memory. I don't know if I explained a feeling that is baffling to myself very well.

Lying in my bed and looking at the ceiling today, I remembered how I was sitting at the table for two somewhere, sipping a simple cup of tea, feeling safe, wanted, fulfilled, and joyous. It was a happy memory. It was a wonderful flashback to a time that was bold and beautiful as it was taking place. It wasn't tainted with loss or longing. It didn't have any questions hanging from it, it was clear, crisp, and bright. Though long gone, with pain and sadness in its wake for a while, today the memory felt gorgeous, cheerful, and dear. It was framed perfectly placed inside a frame of love. This was really the most perfect sick day of the past year, for so much that has been cluttered and pushed around inside my heart, finally seems to be taking shape, falling into place, and getting organized to beautiful effect. I think lying on that bed, looking at the ceiling today, I found something really good in the attic of my mind.

For Love and Peace

Aksana B., a Ukranian pianist in Sweden, plays Anoushirvan Rohani's Del-e-Koochoolo, a long-time favorite of mine. I wonder what has inspired her to play Persian music? Does she love an Iranian man? When I loved an Iranian man, I moved mountains for him! It's beautiful music, delivered beautifully. Enjoy!

Just a quick note to say that I will be going to a peace demonstration in San Francisco (at the San Francisco Civic Center Plaza) later today with my younger son. The protest will be against Israeli attacks on Gaza. We will be joining the Iranian contingent which has been organized by my friend Enayat. If you live in this area, join us. The Iranian contingent will meet on the corner of Grove and Larkin, in front of San Francisco Public Library, at 11:00 a.m.

I hope you have a beautiful Saturday, full of love and peace. Please don't forget to pray for world peace, too. I promise to write a proper post when I return later today. I miss writing here!

Off To 2009

Sasan Nakhshab sings Hele Zirak, a song based on a Molana (Rumi) poem. I think he is an architect in San Diego, California. I believe his son accompanies him in this song. I admire an ordinary man who sings for his heart from his heart.

And so, the holidays are over. My little celebrations with friends and family are over and my older son will return to Santa Cruz tomorrow. The new year is upon us and I need to face it with all the promises I'm holding of it in my heart. Though I have no specific resolutions this year, I am aware of areas in my life which need attention, hard work, and perseverance. I am ready to do them, I think! I hope as all of you who live in the western world are getting ready to start your new year, you are filled with energy and optimism for accomplishing all that you need to do. Here's wishing all of you a great year, full of personal joy and love. Have a good Monday everybody!

Love

High and low

I looked

I searched

I begged

Searching for meaning

Searaching for interpretation

Searaching for guidance

Hills

Mountains

Pinnacles

Ponds

Lakes, and

Oceans

Deserts

Plains, and

Continents

Sorcerers

Fortune tellers, and

Wisemen

Texts

Books, and

Schools

When I returned

Empty-handed

Tired, and

Desolate

Seeking comfort

Shelter

Solace

Within

Alone with my heart

I saw it

Touched it

Drank it

And grew

The alchemy of life

The essence of being

The key to peace all around

Love.

Peace From The Heart

I start the New Year with just three wishes and no resolutions this year! Ha ha! Resolutions are hard. Either you try to achieve them, which is hard work, or you skip and ignore them, which is also hard, because you know you should be sticking with them and you aren't, and that makes you feel guilty! This year, my dear friends, I have no resolutions, zero! I have decided I am already doing my best and I don't want to hear another word about it! Heeh! What a grouchy way to start the New Year, don't you think?! Actually, I'm laughing my head off as I type these words, because I have decided to liberate myself from the black clouds of responsibility to really hard goals, such as quitting smoking, getting more organized, exercising, losing weight, cleaning the garage (again!), etc. No, thank you!

Instead, as the moments were getting closer and closer to 12:00, I concentrated on three wishes. I'll tell you about my 2nd wish, keeping the other two in my heart for now! My second wish was for world peace. I closed my eyes and with all my heart wished that there would be no more death and devastation in the world, and that peace would prevail worldwide immediately. Too many wars have already happened in my lifetime. I am not proud of that. I think if every citizen of the world understood the true humiliation the entire humanity must endure each time another senseless and preventable war is started, then people would feel more compelled to stop wars. If all nations protest wars vehemently, I doubt governments can initiate wars so easily. I wish for peace which should start in every human being's heart and mind first, spreading through families, tribes, nations, and the world. I think peace that starts in people's hearts is the longest lasting kind of peace, surpassing any treaty, any resolution, and any convention.

I hope the New Year is full of personal joy, comfort, peace, love, and health for you. I hope this is the year your love for the special people in your lives is renewed and enriched, helping you along farther and faster and lighter to achieve other big things in your lives. I hope those who don't have that special person in their lives yet, are hit with the thunder of love! Love is what it's all about, trust me on this!

Happy New Year Everybody!