Musical Surprises

Spring in Kurdistan, Iran, Fars News Agency, May 15, 2009. Isn't this peaceful?
I was at my computer, working on something last night when my older son showed up out of nowhere. He had come home to surprise me! It was a really wonderful surprise! I was looking at him rummage through the refrigerator and the cabinets, looking for and finding food, and eating as though he had been starving for days! He may have been, I don't know! His friends in the Bay Area had driven all the way to Santa Cruz to pick him up and bring him home for the surprise! Later, as I stuck my head in the family room to check in on them, I saw ten young heads sitting all over the place, talking and laughing and listening to music. That was the music I wanted to hear.
My kids have been changing a lot, turning into young men who are showing a lot of characteristics which surprise me alright! All of a sudden, it seems, they have become very attentive and considerate, and that is really a wonderful surprise for me. They have always been very loving in their own ways, heck, I should know, I taught them about love, but there is a new quality, a whole new dimension to the way they love now. They have become expressive of their love, showing it to those around them in words and in actions. This morning, my early rising older son came into my bedroom to say hi as I was tidying up. As we were chatting away, he stepped down the hall and looked in his brother's bedroom, where he was sleeping. When he returned he said all of a sudden: "I love that guy, Mom, especially when he is sleeping like that and he isn't getting on my nerves." A simple announcement, and music to my ears.
Three weeks ago, I received news that I have been laid off from my job. I have been spending a lot of time looking for a new job and thinking how to handle my life and my finances during a most uncertain time in the US economy. Naturally I am sad and anxious, but even in the face of an unknown time ahead, for some reason I don't feel devastated. The night before I received the news, my cousin Mehri called me from Orange County. She told me she had had a dream about my mother. My mother had told her to look out for me (movaazeb e Nazy baash), and had asked her to tell me that she is praying for me, and not to worry. The next day, as I received the news, all I could think about was the message I had received the night before. All through my life, and even almost thirteen years after her death, I have never had a doubt that my mother loved me and has always looked over me. She and my father are the ones who taught me how to love, and I think I have learnt well, I'm almost sure. My solitude and my reflections these days have a peaceful air about them. It's as though all day long I am hearing a beautiful symphony, something that I hadn't heard for a long time because of the stress I had been feeling at work. These days I hear the music of peace.
When I'm faced with adversities, and I have had this particular pleasure many times in my life (!), as soon as the shock stage is over, I try to take stock of what I do have and what it is I am still capable of doing. When I think of the things I have, I can't help but be grateful and happy for holding on to the essence of life, to that which is precious and important, irreplacable and valuable. I am surrounded by loving family and friends, new and old, and extremely valuable bonds of love and understanding. Most of what makes me happy these days in my life has not been made possible with money, so they all get to stay! My life, through all the thousands of tiny and important pieces which comprise it, is a beautiful mosaic of joy and color and love. I'll get through this time, holding on to every single one of those precious pieces, for they were never bought, they were earned. And that knowledge, that reassurance, those floating notes of hope and love, these days make the music of my life.


Robert said...

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. (Khalil Gibran)

Considering this I can see clearly how love is always gonna be in your life. You have planted it everywhere and it is now forever growing while you keep planting. Enjoy these peaceful spring moments for you deserve them very much!

Good luck with everything, Robert

Azita said...

The above picture reminds me of Sepehri’s line: “ta shaghayegh hast zendegi bayad kard.”

Nazy jan, my prayers are with you and I pray for your best journey in life. Look at all the love you are surrounded with.

By the way I love your Farimah’story at Iranian.com. In addition to your beautiful writing, I admire Farimah’s courage and wisdom. I had a “you go girl” moment, when she gets in the car to drive off and she removes her bangles and watch.
Sorry, if this comment doesn’t belong here.

With love,


Mina said...

Hi Nazy joon,
Nice piece you wrote. Is not that nice to feel that our loved one who are not among still look after us? I have plenty of them residing on the moon, my mother, father and my three dogs! Isn't life so beautiful?

مسعود said...

نگرانی من پر بیراه نبود.همه ازین آشفته بازار -کم یا زیاد- سهمی داشته اند.اینها که گفتی درست!حالا چه می کنی؟اگر دختر عمو کاری کرده باشد،داستان کامل میشود.رحمت بر آن تربت پاک باد که در هر دو عالم سایه سارند.به یقین این دو برومند هم چنین سایه ای بر سر دارند و به آن افتخار می کنند.این دختر عمو همونی بود که از طرفش نامه می نوشتی به چه قشنگی؟

Daisy said...

Sometimes it's hard to reason why something happens but at the end everything happens for the best. I can see in no time you will find a better job than you had before because you keep your usual positive attitude. I send a lot of good vibes and prayers your way Nazy jan. take care of yourself

Anonymous said...

Nazy jan,
I am so sorry for what has happened to you. All I can say is that I totally understand what you have gone through recently since I have gone through the same experience in my family recently and have had (still have) a few months of stress and depression... I never thought how painful this experience would be to a family.
About your dream, you might be surprised if I tell you my family back home found something is going wrong in here by my mum's dreaming that I am so sad and worried and they called me the next day and found out... Those dreams are so mysterious...
Your words gave me hope. Please pray for me and my family too in your prayers and I will do the same.

-Someone you know...Your Friend

Anonymous said...

Nazy jan,
I forgot to leave the link to the gift I have for you:


nasim said...

Nazy jan,

it was a beautiful post. I pray for you and I admire your positive attitude. remember what counts in our life is not about what we receive, but it is the way we react to the things that happens to us. everything happens for the best and I am certain that you will find a much better job soon. just keep your spirits high and prepare yourself for what you are about to be given.

Love you always. Nasim

Shokaran said...

Salam Nazy jan,

Del ghavidar,

Totally I agree with you and
good luck.

kamy said...

I enjoyed reading your text very much.
wish you a life filed with love and songs.

Chakameh Azimpour said...

Nazy joon, so amazing to see how strong you are, and I wish your life is always full of love. Sorry to hear the bad news. If I can be of any help let me know. We have a spare room.....