Moving Forward

Banafsheh Sayyad performs her Sufi-inspired dance in Los Angeles in May 2008. Enjoy! (I wished the audience hadn't made so much noise during her performance, but that's just my opinion.)

It's Friday. My week has been a mixed bag of joys and reflections. I have been thinking positive thoughts which have prompted me to move forward, and I have been moving forward, prompting myself to think positive thoughts.

I'm preparing to take a trip next week, so I have been running around trying to tie some loose ends so that when I am away, I don't have to worry about things back home--well, except what my kids will be doing to my house in my absence!

When I wake up tomorrow, I will type a list I wrote in my head today. It is a list of all the little and big things which made my life good this past week. I will write them down and share them with you. Once I write it, it would be fun to see your lists, too, if you'd like to share. I'll do it tomorrow morning, as I'm really exhausted now and I won't do the task justice. Have a great weekend everyone and don't forget to use your mouth to say good things, kiss big kisses, and laugh out loud. Be good y'all.

Stepping Into the Clouds

Khorramshahr Cup Polo Games, Iran, May 30, 2008. This is for my friends, Sheida and Shireen and Assal. Assal's grandfather was a polo player. I have seen awesome pictures of him as a young man on a horse, playing polo in Iran. I remember him fondly, a strong and generous man who loved Iran, Esfahan, and his family. He was an extremely articulate man, intelligent and full of thought. This picture reminded me of him today. May he and his loving wife rest in peace.

It's Friday. To tell you the truth, last week was not so hot on the work front and left me depeleted of energy and joy. I won't go into it. It's the weekend and I want to concentrate on happier things in life. I heard from my friends this week and saw several of them. It was nice to talk and laugh and reminisce and confide. It was a good reminder of some of the things that really matter in life.

I participated in a test for a new medical procedure this week. My family's medical history puts me in a category that is of interest to a medical group in Canada who are developing a new blood test. I felt so important as I showed up to an appointment where they drew my blood, and had me sign a bunch of consent forms. That was it! My blood now travels to places unknown to hopefully help humanity somehow, someday. That feels really good!

My kids still aren't talking. But they have to do things together because they share a car. My younger son had to drop his older brother off at a "lunch date" before he left for work this afternoon. I had to watch them bicker and fight as they got ready and left together today. I so want them to make up and put all of us out of our miseries!

I want to wish all of you a happy and peaceful weekend. I will be celebrating life and friendship with my good friends tomorrow night. I will cook and clean my house for them, or am I doing it for me? One of the best joys in life is to have a home which can host friends. It's never clear to me which one has a better time when I have guests, them or me?! Well, I think I do. Gather your friends and hang out with them, talking and laughing and dancing. Surround yourselves in a cloud of trust and love which can best be provided by friends. Let them into your home and your heart and let them be the cause for a cleaner home and a happier heart! Be good you all!

Here and Now and This

Surprise lunch with sweet Leva today.

It's Friday. My children's father is visiting them in this area this weekend, so they have gone out to dinner with him. Iden is also spending his Friday night with his girlfriend, so I have the house all to myself again, enjoying writing and listening to music.* So, I have tried hard to ignore the pains and aches which have followed my car accident, but it seems a bit easier said than done! All this week, I have gone around thanking God for his mercy and kindness on me and others involved in that accident. I have talked to many of my friends and family members this week, and feel really good in the knowledge that I am surrounded by the love and affection of many people from different walks of life. One conversation with my friend at work, Ada, has been the most poignant one of the week for me. Ada was telling me about taking care of her ailing mother. I asked her whether she thinks life's glass is half full or half empty? She said "half full." She then asked me what I think about life's glass? I was surprised to find that I had to think about that question! I finally said I believe that life's glass is all full, without any room for speculation about what may not be in it. Here and now and this is what life is about, not there and then and that. It was good to see Ada smile after many months of seeing sadness in her face.

I wish you all a very happy and loving weekend. Life is too short, you guys! Spend it living, learning, loving, and laughing. Don't give in to doubts and worries--go forward sure-footed and decided on enjoying every moment of it. Go looking for opportunities which would make you happier, leaving the ones that drag you down behind. When you are strong you can help others, too. That's what I will be doing this weekend. I will be working on organizing myself, prioritizing my needs and goals. I will be sure to remember one thing as I do a house cleaning in my head--all the love around me stays and everything else goes! I'll tell you more about this soon. Have a good weekend y'all!

*Hey, Jude, don't make it bad/ Take a sad song and make it better/ Remember to let her into your heart/ Then you can start to make it better...(Hey Jude by Beatles)

Friday Surprise

Maestro Anoushirvan Rohani plays an impromptu performance, appearing as a "surprise guest" at SFSU's Nowrooz Party, San Francisco, March 7, 2008.

I missed my Friday post! To make up for it, I share with you about three minutes of a poorly-lit, but sufficiently audible videoclip I took of Maestro Anoushirvan Rohani, playing some of his much beloved melodies. It was an awesome event, thanks to Mehran and his friends. I will come back a little later to write my Saturday post. In the meantime, enjoy the music, forgiving me for my very elementary equipment and video technique!

Love like there's no tomorrow. That would have been my Friday message. Like there is no tomorrow.

Stepping Away

Sunset from my balcony today, February 29, 2008.

It's Friday. This was a hard week for me, feeling under the weather and a little sad about some stuff that's going on in my life. I am glad to report that despite some tears I cried this week, there were also some pretty big smiles, caused by some good news from friends and family near and far. Some writing I did made me laugh, too. Consider the woman who spent several days since last Friday in her pajamas, with her shawl around her, and a small blanket on her lap for good measure, with messed up hair and her Kleenex box at hand, sitting at her computer typing and laughing, sometimes so hard she was slapping her knee! I wonder what my kids (and now Iden, too!) think about me! When they move around the house, these days they never know whether they will find me contemplative and serious-looking, crying my eyes out, or laughing to myself like a crazy woman! It has been that kind of week for me.

I was touched by the love and friendship of several people this week; my friends from all walks of life were extra attentive and kind to me, calling me, visiting me, and sending good vibrations my way. Looking as unglamorous as I did, this was also my week to receive calls and visits from my artist friends Rojan, who is a singer from Kurdistan, Vaaleh, who is a singer specializing in spiritual fusion music, and Hamed who is a composer, a singer, and a multi-instrumentalist. Hee Hee, though I didn't look the part for hanging out with local celebrities, I did think again for the millionth time how very fortunate I am for having such good friends! O.K. Enough showing off. I better get on with this post!

I want to tell you another story about my years of coming of age. It is a story about my first male best friend, Mehrdad. I will say it in a separate post soon. Tomorrow will be a good day for me, as I will take a trip to Sacramento with my sisters and niece to visit my younger sister. I am so ready for stepping away for a few hours, where I can put my routine activities aside and hang out with my family. Sacramento is about two hours' drive away from where I live, so it will be a long day trip for me, returning late tomorrow night. Wherever on this planet you live, I urge you to step away from your routine, and to do something a little different this weekend. See your loved ones and let them wrap you in their arms and their love, and do the same for them. Step out and recreate, re-configue, and re-format! Leave your desks, your computers, and your "corners" to step into your friends' and families' corners. Be a little different this weekend, unpredictable and ready to express your love and affection. I'm ready. Have a good weekend everybody and be good y'all.

Friendship Week

Banoo Molook Zarrabi sings and plays the Tombak with Anooshirvan Rohani in 1977. She was the first female singer/instrumentalist of Iran. In this video, she was already 70+ years old.

It's Friday. I end a hard but good week. I have heard from good friends, have delivered on several outstanding obligations, have made some decisions I was putting off for a while, and would like to think that I am just a tiny bit wiser than last week.

Today on my lunch break I went for a walk around the block to enjoy the sunshine which had spontaneously broken out of the morning rain, soon to be followed by another storm this weekend. There was a nice breeze which felt so good on my face. I was taking deep breaths of the fresh air, feeling so fortunate to be out in the open air. Right where there was a sea of sunshine and that nice breeze was coming from all directions on a street corner, I stopped and closed my eyes, willing the sun and the wind to caress me and to soothe out my small worries and small pains. It felt so good.

So, I have four young men in the house at this moment, sitting around, watching a basketball game. This is a Friday night and it is a rare occurrence to have them stay in, but I don't mind.

Daisy suggested today that we make this Friendship Week in my blogs. I rather like the idea! Of course in my life, everyday is friendship day and every week is friendship week. What would my life be without my friends? I hear from them on the phone across the seas, on Yahoo and MSN Messengers, in my blogs, in my four email accounts, and in person. Some of them call me several times a day! So, we will make this the Friendship Week. Please talk about what friendship means to you, who your friends are, and how you will celebrate them this week. If you wish, send me your friends' photos and I will feature them. If you want, write a longer post and I will feature it in my blogs. You can dedicate a song, a videoclip, a poem, or anything your heart desires to them here. I am around tonight and most of this weekend, so I hope to answer your kind comments more quickly, and answering my tens (and tens) of neglected emails. Be good you all, think good thoughts, say good words, and dream good dreams. Have a good weekend y'all.

In My Pink Sweater

Nasim Arbabi plays the Kamancheh at Fajr Music Festival, December 2007.

It's Friday. So, I hope I didn't worry you too much with my "spicy" story! Judging from your kind comments and the sweet emails sent my way today, it looks like I might have! I'm good as new and back to the business of life! What did I tell you? True, a part of me still aches for something that was important to me, and will need a bit of time yet to develop its spice (!), but on we go.

I was all set to roll out my story beginning tonight, finishing my posts by Sunday, and publishing it on Monday. Some small things have been delayed, and alas I can't do it this weekend. I'm so sorry for disappointing you. You see, there were no pictures nor videoclips of this dancer's amazing works. We have had to scan photos, apply for copyright permissions and VHS to DVD conversions, and now that I have the DVD, I can't upload the clips, because it hasn't been saved in tracks, and I don't have film editing software (yes, he and I have had to do all of that by ourselves--I told you, we are "uncovering" a gem!). While I run around, enlisting assistance to get it done, we will have to wait. Sorry. I usually try to keep my promises, but I was unsuccessful this time.

I know this will not make up for it at all, but I want to share a videoclip of Nava Aharoni, an Israeli dancer (I believe she is of Iranian descent), who dances a Persian dance. It is called Miniature, and in it she depicts Persian Miniatures in different poses. Watch it on YouTube here and if you can't access YouTube, watch it here. It is interesting in that it is choreographed a little differently. Take a look.

All of their own accord, my children fed me dinner tonight, made me tea, washed the dishes, took out the garbage, and were super affectionate to me. Honestly, I don't know where that surge of affection came from! I even got compliments on my pink sweater and a few kisses on the head, most unusual! I think it is a very good day when some unsolicited and unexpected kindnesses come our way. This weekend, you might wish to try it, too. Make dinner for your parents and kiss them whichever way feels good to you and to them! Treat the kids around you to unexpected ice cream and kisses, too! Wash a loved one's car of the grime of recent rain and snow. Be random and be unexpected, but do show your love to a few this weekend. I am sitting here in my pink sweater, smiling and typing, feeling super special! So rest assured, it works! Have a good weekend and be good y'all.

From Karkheh to Rhein

It's Friday. My week was filled with new meetings and experiences of new and old feelings. I shared some of them with you. My relationship with my children is transforming again, putting us on a more adult track yet again. These transformations only mean that the list of topics we can easily and maturely discuss with one another grows. We are now past talking about the physical relationship of men and women and we are talking about "relationships," and how men and women might regard a relationship differently, with different expectations. To surprise you, I should say that I am not at all the only one who has opinions and experiences about this, and they are not the only ones who have questions and doubts about it! It is always a good day for me when I receive a beautiful sentiment in the form of an email from Iran first thing in the morning, and a couple of hours later an SMS from my older son, saying simply: "i love you mom."

I want to tell you a short story, a memory. I met Majid Entezami, the famous Iranian composer and his lovely wife, one of the few Harp players in Iran, in a family gathering several years ago. We talked about life and music and our children. He is truly a charming man who loves his family. I told him I knew him most prominently through his masterpiece film score, Az Kharkeh Ta Rhein. He said "You know, what happened to that score has been a source of bafflement for me." He explained that it is one of two pieces of music Iranian Radio and Television air during mourning times in Iran (the other is Hossein Alizadeh's symphony, Neynava), and this music has come to be known for sadness and reflection. I asked him if he minded. He said "No, I don't mind it, as I wrote it to be reflective and sad, but sometimes when I hear it unexpectedly played on the radio, I turn to my wife and ask her: 'It's not a national mourning day. Did someone die today?' Anyhow, it is a really beautiful piece of music and remembering how many times I heard it on the radio during Tasooa and Ashura, I felt nostalgic about it today.

We are at the beginning of a three-day weekend in the US. Monday is Dr. Martin Luther King's birthday, and I will write about him a little later this weekend. I wish you all a relaxing weekend, whether or not you are reflecting. Get together with those who matter to you, sit around a fire, talk, and embrace each other. You know, we must never underestimate the power of human touch. Holding hands, hugging, and touching our family and loved ones can have extremely powerful benefits for our souls. Iranians touch each other a lot more than Americans do. Believing in and observing "personal space" is the reason Americans refrain from getting too physically close to one another; this is intended to respect people's individuality, a value most prized in American culture. Iranians touch each other more, believing it conveys messages of closeness, brotherhood, and affection, a much more tribal approach to human interaction. I am very Iranian, very tribal, and when not in professional settings, I touch the people around me a lot! Have a good weekend y'all.

Dance With Me

Nouvelle Vage Sings Dance With Me.

It's Friday. My week went by in a whirlwind of activities, minor accomplishments, and a pleasant event. I want to tell you about stories tonight. Those who know me, know to always expect me to tell them stories. I would often start many conversations by telling my friends: "Let me tell you a story," or "bezarin baratoon yek ghesseh begam." My stories don't surprise my friends anymore, but they are polite enough to endure (really, what choice do they have?!).

I believe there is a story in everything. Some of us never see it. Some of us see it but can never tell it. Some of us see it and tell it. Simple as that. Sometimes there isn't just one story, but several, all in the same seemingly mundane thing. So, take this videoclip, for example. The story about this videoclip is that my friend, Jahanshah, has a small corner on his website, Iranian.com, called "Stuff." He posts videoclips of things he likes, music he enjoys, and things he finds amusing there. With hundreds of article and news bits on the site, nowhere else on Iranian.com is more about Jahanshah himself than this small column. Last night he had posted this videoclip there. It is a song called "Dance With Me," by a French band, named Nouvelle Vague. It is ovelapped on a dance scene from the 1964 French movie, Bande A Part. It is a sweet song which has been perfectly rythmed on top of the movie scene, and the result is lovely.

The story of Bande A Part (or Band of Outsiders) is that it is a comedy classic by the great Jean-Luc Godard, the famous French director. Here's what the original dance scene looked like. The story on top of this is that American film director, Quentin Tarantino was so impressed by this movie that he named his movie production company, "A Band Apart" after the film and referenced it in his movie, Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction became an instant classic in the world of cinema in 1994. I even remember in Kamal Tabrizi's movie, Marmulak, in one scene Quentin Tarantino and Pulp Fiction were referenced and that was hilarious! So, how many stories did I just tell you?

I wish you all a very good weekend, full of joy and relaxation. I hope all of you who have a special person in your lives, would make time to go out and do something really special with him or her alone. Go out for a nice long walk, go to dinner for two, or go see a movie together. Those of you who really like someone but have never found the courage to do something about it should probably also do something about that soon, and why not this weekend? Try it, it might work! Those of you still looking for someone, please don't give up, keep on looking. Life can be so full of surprises when you least expect them. Be bold, be brave, and confess your love for all those who matter most to you in your life. You won't regret it, I gurantee it. Be good y'all.

P.S. The spacing on this post doesn't seem to work and I'm too tired to keep working on it! Bebakhshid!

Quiet Love

Theater Festival, Tehran, November 2007

It's Friday. Life is passing by entirely too fast. Sometimes I get dizzy watching the parade of days, people, and events before me. Someday very soon, I will take a few days off to be by myself and to sort myself out. Those days are not here yet, however. For now, life goes on and so must I.

I wish you all a good weekend, full of joy, relaxation, and laughter. Since I feel very quiet and a little bi-hoseleh myself, instead of advising you to go and say and shout your love for those you love, as I normally do, I would like to suggest that you try a "quiet trick" with them this weekend. Without using too many words, find ways to show you love them. This is easier than you think, and chances are you will be heard even more loudly. Here are some examples of the "quiet trick of love:"

1. Make a cup of tea for someone without their asking for it. Take a small tray, put the nicest china cup and saucer you can find in your home, pour the tea in the cup, put it on the try, put a tea spoon and a sugar bowl on the tray and take it to them.
2. Wash the dishes without being asked (if this is not a part of your normal routine).
3. Take his or her eyeglasses and wash and dry and polish them and put them back where you found them.
4. Voluntarily put the television on the channel they like to wach. Then go sit next to them and watch their favorite program with them for an hour.
5. Write " I Love You" on a piece of paper an tape it on the mirror in the bathroom. This can work for your partner or your kids equally.

The list can be longer, but you get the gist of what I'm saying. Be unpredictably attentive. Surprise them. You don't need words for that. Nothing feels better than having someone in our life who cares about us, what we like, and how we feel. Give that gift to the people around you this weekend. I guarantee good result. Be good y'all.