From Grieving Mother to Murderer

I am appalled with Behnoud’s execution. There is no way anyone can convince me that this child did not have the potential to rehabilitate. I am mother to two young men. I can tell you beyond the shadow of a doubt that a seventeen year old boy is a child. Behnoud was a child offender and still a child when he was executed after spending four years in jail and walking up to the noose six times. My mother’s heart says that to me.

The victim, Ehsan, was also a child. My heart wept for his mother who saw her son off one day and never saw him alive again. I cannot begin to imagine what pain and agony she must have gone through over the past four years. The worst thing anyone could have done for Ehsan’s mother was to let her decide the life and death of her son’s murderer, Behnoud. As if dealing with the immense loss is not bad enough for a grieving mother, she has had to continually search her soul for forgiveness for Behnoud. As it turned out, she could not find it.

I feel so sad for Ehsan’s mother. She will never be whole again. She is now a murderer herself. True, the law won’t come after her and she can live just like any other citizen for the rest of her life. But I am a mother and I know that by choosing revenge over forgiveness, Ehsan’s mother has forever put herself in the solitary confinement of loss, grief, shame, and remorse. Whereas up until yesterday Ehsan’s family had been affected with the unimaginable grief of a child’s loss, starting today they will have to carry the burden of having taken another person’s life. Ehsan’s mother will soon know, if not already, that Behnoud’s death is not going to bring Ehsan back, nor make her cope with his loss any better. I can only imagine that that family is now completely destroyed.

Death penalty is inhumane and Qisas Laws are savage. My heart weeps for Ehsan and Behnoud. My heart weeps for Iran.

Freed At Last

Ali Farahbakhsh, the Iranian journalist who was in prison for close to a year was just released, according to his sister, Helaleh's post in her blog. I never knew him before his imprisonment. He writes about economy, which most people don't follow with interest, and which also made his arrest and imprisonment so bizarre. I was very sad for a young journalist who was unfairly accused and treated to a long jail term. I wrote something about it in April. His freedom is very good news, indeed. I am glad he goes home to his toddler and wife and to his aging parents. I met his worried sister at the Internet gathering last month. She must be so happy for his freedom, and I am happy, too.

Ashamed

You won't see a picture of this week's executions in Iran here. I cannot tell you how watching those images has affected me. The fact that they happen is bad enough. To watch them and those who watched them is a disgrace to humanity. After seeing them a few times, I have stayed away from any of the blogs who had the pictures, as I know those images will haunt me endlessly. I strongly oppose the death penalty anywhere in the world, and see it as a violation of human rights and human integrity. I believe that capital punishment for heinous crimes should be life sentences in prison, where the criminal is punished by separation from the society, living in which in harmony is the ultimate human privilege.

How is killing someone because he or she killed another any better than what he or she did? How perfect can a judicial system be to determine a person must cease to live? Is there such a perfect judicial system in the world? In less than perfect judicial systems, even if death penalty is allowed, can we all be certain that the person being executed is guilty, has received the proper trial, and a fair verdict? I think governments must protect and improve life for their citizens, and must not take it away from them, or, worse yet, to expose them to view the process of someone being brutally murdered. That’s why looking at pictures of young people being executed in Iran this week has been a disgusting and horrible experience for me.

Wherever I went this week, there were pictures of several men in various stages pre-, during-, and post-execution. With each picture, I cried in pain and shame. The pain is at loss of human life, and the shame is for belonging to two countries, Iran and US, both of which have capital punishment in their laws. The shame comes from any judicial system that believes a still young person is uncorrectable and that there is no hope in his or her being redeemed, re-educated, and restored. I feel the pain of families who lost a loved one to a hideous crime, but I cannot condone "an eye for an eye." I can't.

To Do List

Exhibit A

I was overwhelmed with my responsibilities today. When after spending a few hours in the kitchen and around the house I sat down to see how much of my " To Do List" I had accomplished (Exhibit A), I was really disappointed at myself! I had promised to read things I didn’t read, and my writing just sits there beckoning me. Right now, all I want to do is to sit here, and do nothing! I also can’t shut off my mind. As I was doing my chores, I was listening to the radio on my computer. One station was really hard to take, as in the middle of news about wars and atrocities and devastations all over the world, they kept playing this fast-beat dance music. One was so boring, as they had these long silences filled with classical music, which wasn’t conducive to doing chores. The last station I listened to was broadcasting a report about Amir Kabir University students in prison, and how their families suspect that they are being mistreated and extensively tortured to confess, to what, I’m not sure. As I stood at the kitchen counter, motionless while holding a rag, thinking about this, I thought how spoilt and shallow it is to complain about radio programming and other things when at this very moment in this world, there are families worried crazy about their extraordinarily gifted children, who worked so hard to get into a top university, only to be handled like criminals and spies, denied basic human rights and access to legal advice and their families. Some days are just hard days to be a human being for the shame you feel about events that are taking place in your lifetime and you can’t do anything to stop or change them.

Is The Grass Greener On The Other Side?

This week in Tehran, Mohammad Kheirkhah, a talented young Iranian photographer, has a showing of several of his works, entitled "Iranian Woman" (Zane Irani). Look at this touching picture. Does it make you sad?

Free Ali Farahbakhsh

Once a month now since April, I pull out his picture and talk about him. This is so sad, and it feels so inadequate. Can you for a moment imagine yourself in his place? A young journalist in the area of economics, returning from a workshop abroad, being arrested at the airport and sent to solitary confinement, wrongly accused, tried, sentenced and imprisoned for over seven months, deprived of basic human rights. His elderly parents are going crazy with worry (his father served as a judge himself for 30 years) and his young wife and toddler son are fending for themselves. Last month there was news of his deteriorating physical and mental health in prison. I can do nothing for him, but to remember him, and to remind the few people who come to visit me here that Ali Farahbakhsh is a prisoner of conscience, and must not be forgotten. This is something I wrote about him in April. Photo From Hanif Mazrooee’s Blog

Little Tajik Boy Dances.....

I am off for the weekend, excited to be seeing members of my family after a long time. I found my way to the blog of a dancer who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area and specializes in Tajik, Afghan, Uzbek, and Iranian dances. Her name is Aliah Najmabadi. I leave you with an image from her blog, showing an artist family in Badakhshan who are performing music, where the solo dance is performed by a very young Tajik boy. Don't you think that little boy's pose and facial expression is priceless? It is so clear that however he was taught, he has learned to understand and feel dance in his little body and soul! It is so touching to look at that concentration on his face. For all the affinity I feel for Tajikistan, Uzbekistan, and Afghanistan as neighbors who share so much in culture, language, and history with Iran, I feel awful that life in those countries must be marred by consistent violations of human rights. Take a look at this article. When will we be free? I hope you relax over the weekend, and feel close to those you love. I hope angels kiss your eyes to dream good dreams, as I used to wish for my children every night! I hope there is respite from war and evil at least over the next few days. Have a good weekend.

Is Her Hejab Proper Now?

My heart weeps and my eyes won't close at night. I feel like the whole world's weight is on my shoulders, pulling me down, keeping me from taking one more step ahead. Who that girl is matters not. She could be me; she could be my daughter, my sister, my niece--she could be any Iranian woman. I am wondering though, doesn't she look surprisingly calm for someone who was injured brutally just a few minutes ago? Why isn't she hysterical at the sight of blood running down her face? Could it be, that if all of those Iranian women were to bleed from the face, they would all look so calm, simply because they have been bleeding even harder from their hearts and dignities all these years, and this is nothing by comparison? I just have one question of that gentleman to her left, the valiant what is he, a colonel? Does he like her hejab now? Is it better now than when he first met her a few minutes ago? Does she have proper Islamic cover now? Later tonight, is he going to go home feeling really accomplished and good about what he did at work today? Is he going to hug his little girl, telling her what great things he achieved today? Would he consider bringing her to work with him one of these days, to see what her father does for a living? I am heartsick and nothing feels good right now.

Jimmy Carter

Former President, and Noble Peace Prize Laureate Jimmy Carter came to Berkeley this afternoon. He was promoting his new book: Palestine Peace Not Apartheid. In a packed Zellerbach Auditorium, he talked to an audience of mostly students (only 150 seats were made available to faculty and staff). He received a Berkeley Medal of Honor, the highest honor the University extends to dignitaries (Berkeley does not issue honorary degrees).

For me, there were three points of appeal to Carter’s presence at the University: I believe Jimmy Carter to have done very well as a human rights activist (so much better than he did as a US President, I believe). Additionally, he is a man very much hated by a group of Iranians who hold him directly responsible for the regime change of 1979 in Iran. I don’t actually agree with the second point, but it intrigued me enough to want to hear this man talk. The last point is that I believe whether he was good or bad, effective or useless, a servant of human rights or a traitor to them, history will have until eternity to judge Jimmy Carter and other leaders to measure and evaluate them; however, in my limited lifetime, whenever I have a chance to go see major figures of our contemporary history, I never pass it up.

Jimmy Carter talked about his book, and the plight of Palestinians. The overall premise of his book is that while he criticizes suicide bombers and those who "consider the killing of Israelis as victories,” he says "some Israelis believe they have the right to confiscate and colonize Palestinian land and try to justify the sustained subjugation and persecution of increasingly hopeless and aggravated Palestinians." He said Israel will never find peace unless it withdraws from its neighbor’s lands and stops persecuting Palestenians.

He then had a talk with Orville Schell, Dean of Berkeley's Graduate School of Journalism. Schell asked Carter several questions, including what he thought about US taking military action against Iran, and he replied it would be a catastrophe, worse than Iraq.

Another interesting day in Berkeley, wouldn't you say?