7/23/2008

Tears To Parties In My Head

Watermelon harvest, Boushehr, July 23, 2008. More photos here.
I am humbled by your reception and response about my last post. Thank you very much. First chance I get, I will reply to each comment individually as I like to do but have been unable to do because of my many commitments and deadlines.
I am going to a short Persian literature class again this summer, starting tonight. My beloved Dr. Zari Taheri is back in the Bay Area for a few short weeks and she will be teaching us Nezami's Eskandar Nameh this summer. I am so excited! I'm not only going to learn from the very best, I'm going to see my special friends, too. Yippee!
My son is preparing for the Fall. As the amount of excitement seems to be growing in him, I have to face the mounting dread I feel for a separation from him. I am trying so hard to act and look cool and brave, but when I see him messing up the house or sleeping in his room, or when I hear him and his friends laugh and talk in the TV room, my eyes burn with the controlled tears that threaten to fall at the thought of his long absences in the house. I don't want to be a clingy mother, so I don't. Cling that is. Also, boys are naturally protective of their mothers. As a single mother, I would hate for my boys to feel guilty about leaving me to go pursue their lives. So I look even tougher on the outside than I feel on the inside, so that they feel free to make their own choices in life without reservations about me. Of course, once they are both gone, I will go find my dream house in Berkeley and leave the suburbs behind, living where I love to live. It would have to be a party house, though. You know, with a huge party room and a balcony, so that I can have my friends over all the time!
I'll let you know how my class goes tonight. Be good and happy you guys and have a good Thursday.

4 comments:

Daisy said...

Salam Nazy jon,

This is what happens to almost every mother more specially to Iranian mom. It's normal what you feel about your son leaving your nest. God knows that I know what my mom went through when I left. Though she didn't say a thing, I knew what was going on with her. For one time in my life I had to be selfish (I think). So I left. I left because I had to and because this is what kids do.
Have fun studying

p.s. Imagine he never wanted to leave. Then you had a big problem ;)

مسعود said...

یک مادر ایرانی به تمام معنا.جز این انتظار نداریم.خداوند همه را به آنچه می خواهند برساند.آمین

Assal said...

Nazy Joonam:

The response to your post was well deserved.

I felt guilty for a very long time for moving to LA to pursue my dream-school. Even though it was tough to know my mom was alone, I always will be thankful to her for allowing me to use my winds and fly from the comfortable nest she'd provided for me.

About your party house.. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!

Love you!

Assal said...

I just wanted to ask you if you heard Obama's speech today where he mentioned bringing dignity back to the world....and he mentioned to "the blogger in Iran" among others? I loved that little mention.