SMS

I'd like to make a confession. Starting when I was 14, and lasting until I was 20, I used to hate school, classes, courses, teachers, and grades. I never studied, and defied every expectation by my parents to take my education seriously. Books, friends, and parties were my sole preoccupation. I attempted a college education three times, dropping out or ending prematurely, before I attended college seriously to earn a degree. I never get over how lucky I was to have been able to have second and third and fourth chances at an education, knowing now all too well that not everyone can be so lucky. In raising my children, I have tried so hard not to be a hypocrite. How can I tell them to study hard when I was so defiant of an education at their age? I want them to love going to college, because until I started loving college, no pressure, no intimidation, and no competition ever worked for me. So, I support and I encourage, but never push them. They need to figure it out by themselves.

I was engrossed in a project at work today, feeling, as I do frequently these days, pressured for time, feeling a bit overwhelmed when I heard the little beep on my cellular phone, announcing a new message. I checked the message. It was from my younger son who started college this year. It said simply: "I got an A for my essay." I never thought such a thing was possible, but at that moment and for the information that the one line message conveyed, I felt happier and more accomplished than I had ever felt for any good grade I ever received during my own education. I think the reason is that after a very turbulant start, I believe he is on his way.

Accidental Emigrants?

We all know about famous and successful Iranians in our midst. CEO’s and VP’s of big corporations, successful doctors, artists, high-ranking government employees, writers, and gifted scientists, there is always some Iranian somewhere doing something noteworthy for us to feel proud. As a community, however, we tend to lack a common forum and voice. We gather around events and people, but never around issues.

We are, for the most part, law abiding, tax-paying citizens who are assets to our communities, but we tend to shy away from American politics, be apathetic to political developments, and disinterested in local elections. Why is that? Is it because over the past three decades each of us has been catapulted into this new land initially as a “temporary measure,” which turned into a serious, unplanned, and permanent reality? Is it because we see ourselves as “accidental emigrants,” not sure what to do now that we have stayed and have gone on to have children, businesses, and careers here?

Whatever the reasons, the view from the outside in is that we are a fragmented community, unattached and unmotivated to form lobbies to change laws and conditions in our favor. We live in the US now, respecting and loving our new country, abiding by its laws. But we also love and care for Iran and what happens to it and to its people.

Whatever we each think about the Iranian regime, we certainly wish no harm to people of Iran. Then why are we silent when we hear the war drums played non-stop on American media, depicting Iranians as cockroaches, talking about plans to simultaneously hit 10,000 targets in Iran, or speculating casually about striking Iranian nuclear facilities without any reference to the fact that those plants are now located in densely populated areas of Iran, striking each of which will be tantamount to a human catastrophe?

We can and should do more to bring attention to ourselves as a peaceful and peace loving community with intelligence, integrity, and heart. We must find ways to get together and show our strength as a viable, educated, and dedicated populace. Staying silent and indifferent, we will never be heard, recognized, or respected in our proper and deserved position. Accidental emigrants or a community dedicated to a life of integrity in the US, while ensuring a proper and humane approach to a country and a nation we left behind, but will never stop loving—the choice is ours and never as crucial as now.

This piece was published in Iranian.com today. I also have a blog post there today, reporting on the internet event. Some of you may know that a Robert Gates aide was quoted yesterday to have said: "I hate all Iranians." My post title there is "I love all Iranians."

I Will Salute The Sun Again

I will salute the sun again The brook flowing within me The clouds which were my deep reflections The painful growth of aspens in the grove That passed through dry seasons with me I will salute the flocks of ravens Which brought me Sweet smells of nocturnal fields I will salute my mother who lives in the mirror And who was the shape of my old age And the earth whose womb my thirst for revival Had filled with green seedlings I will come, I will come, I will come With my tresses: strewing smells of the earth With my eyes: extreme experiences of darkness With the shrubs which I have picked from behind the wall I will come, I will come, I will come And Threshold will overflow with love I will salute again those who love The girl who is still standing there At the threshold brimming with love (Be aftab salami dobareh khaham dad) By Forough Farrokhzad, Translation by Ismail Salami, Photo by Volitans

Worrisome Sunday

I went to listen t Reese Erlich's lecture in Berkeley this afternoon. He is a journalist with San Francisco Chronicle, and his book, The Iran Agenda: The Real Story of US Policy and the Middle East, was just published. The topic of his lecture was: "Will the US attack Iran?" His answer to that question was pretty unsettling. Erlich believes that all plans are set into motion, and that it is no longer a question of whether there will be an attack, but when. He said that excuses for a potential attack are rapidly shifting from Iran's nuclear activities to its interference in Iraq, trying to find acceptance in the US. I was so scared listening to him. He is very sympathetic to Iranian people, and has visited Iran several times. I asked him what we could do to help avoid a war, and his suggestion was for Iranians in the US to get organized and to start developing a unified voice against a potential attack. That is no easy feat, and certainly it can't be done quickly enough. There was some suggestion that Iranians in the Bay Area form a contingent and participate in the protests against Iraq war which is scheduled for October 27th in San Francisco, protesting plans for an attack on Iran. Today I also read this article by Seymour Hersh in the upcoming issue of the New Yorker. It's a long piece, but I recommend it, if you have the stomach for bad news. I know many of my friends believe there won't be a war, but even if there is a small probability, the thought is too hard to bear. I wrote something on the subject which will be published tomorrow.

A Very Good Day

A Gorgeous Water Lily (niloofar) in a Pond in Napa Valley Today. I am so proud of my picture!

My friends came and took me to Napa Valley today. Napa Valley boasts gorgeous scenery, hundreds of vinyards (takestan), and olive trees. I was feeling so much better today, and thoroughly enjoyed my day surrounded by nature and sunshine, talking about life with people my own age, whose company I thoroughly enjoy!

My children and I used to watch many movies together, but with their work and school schedules, it has not been possible lately. They always tease me because I move too much during the movies. Tonight, after we ate our dinner (of leftovers!), we sat down to watch The Fountain. I had promised myself to sit down and not move for the duration, which I did, I'm proud to report. The two of them, however, fell asleep halfway into the movie, and I watched it by myself to the end. It was an interesting movie, a love story with twists of fiction, and I thought Hugh Jackman's performance was stellar. I then woke the two of them to go sleep in their beds! Well, their intentions were good.

I got two writing deadlines out of the way, and I will still need to deliver one sometime tomorrow. It was a very good day for me today, relaxed, and more energetic than I have been recently. I am fortunate to have good friends and family. I count my blessings tonight.

Eftari in Masouleh

Massouleh, Gilan, Photo By Nigel Bahrani

It's Friday. I had eftari and dinner guests tonight. I took some sweet pictures of my eftari spread to show you, but somehow they were lost and I am bummed out about it. I grew up in a big family, with many siblings and many more who stayed with us. I learned how to cook when I was twelve, after my mother was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, and it became apparent that she could no longer single-handedly feed close to 20 people at mealtimes. We all learned how to shop, cook, and entertain at my father's urging, as he knew that my mother was depressed about not being able to keep up the physical effort, and our household had to stay a welcome place for all in it and all who came. Cooking for many people is easy for me. Cooking for just a few is simply impossible! Every time I cook for my parties now, I always have several days' worth of leftovers! If I haven't un-learned cooking for 20 by now, I doubt I can do it here on end! So, halva, ash reshteh, and several other dishes will be our food for days to come!

As is now a habit with me, my thoughts and worries for Iran invariably take me to Iran. In my imagination, I visit its many corners, villages, towns, and cities. I walk down its streets, and stop by its tea houses (ghahveh khooneh). In another life, I used to travel to Gilan every Ramadan, to visit friends and family there. On one of those trips, on a cold November day, I had eftari (breakfast) at a tiny tea house in Masouleh, a village entirely built on a mountain. Masouleh is a tourist town, with most of its natives now old men and women. Their youth leave the village to go to live in cities and abroad. The village feels eerie and quiet in off-season. The hot tea, the bread and cheese, and the fresh eggs omlette I had in that teahouse, listening to the wise and articulate old men in presence is one of my most cherished memories. Tonight, I visited Masouleh again, and walked its crooked uphill pavements, looking in on the tiny houses whose backyards are the roofs of houses below. I went to its miniature cemetery located in the middle of all the houses, and stopped by a bookshop where I could always find banned books, unavailable in Tehran bookshops. I had my delicious Lahijan tea in that teahouse tonight, looking through the window panes covered with steam. I was in Iran tonight. I wish you all a very good weekend, filled with rest and hopeful thoughts. Surround yourselves with people you love, and shoo bad thoughts away from your mind and soul. Tell those you love that you love them. Let them take care of you and be prepared to do the same for them. Be good y’all.

Let There Be No War

Mehr (September) is Harvest Time at a Kerman Sunflower Farm

As more and more bad news arrives, I continue to worry about Iran. My mind and heart is full of beautiful images of Iran, its mountains, valleys, farms, rivers, and seas. I remember its wonderful people, kind and hospitable and full of love for their families, hopeful for their children, and thoughtful and generous to their neighbors. Do they know what is happening around the world? Do they hear the horrible rhetoric and headlines we hear here everyday? Are they sufficiently informed about the threats and dangers facing them? I saw a report a few weeks ago which talked about a potential plan to simultaneously attack 10,000 targets in Iran! Reading that report, feeling dizzy and sick to my stomach, I could not begin to comprehend its implications. I don't want an attack on Iran, that much I know. I wallow in anger at politicians whose failure to negotiate and find peaceful solutions is geopardizing the lives and livelihoods of millions of people, endangering peace worldwide. No, I don't know what to do, I just know what I don't want. I want no war, no bombs, no bullets, no maimed, and no dead anywhere in the world, and I particularly don't want it for Iran. One war in recent history has been one too many for Iran. We haven't yet begun to recover from the war which ended almost 20 years ago. We don't need a new one. What should we do? I will do the only thing I know how to do; I will write about it. I will write about not wanting a war. What do you think we should do?

Iranican's Report

Those of you who live in these parts have probably heard of Iranican, a group of young, bright, and beautiful second-generation Iranians who, through their website and weekly television program try to engage second generation Iranians in arts, cultural and social issues, and music of Iran. They were at last weekend's event, and have prepared a two-part video clip of the happenings there. Take a look. If you have time, also look at the pictures on Iranian.com. And here's Radio Zamaneh's report about the event.

Ready for Autumn

Come in to my house! Befarmaeed! So, O.K. I got sick. I saw it coming, but couldn't stop it. Against my best efforts of getting up, showering, getting dressed and ready to go to work this morning, I realized I couldn't do it. I changed and went back to bed where I slept for more hours than I have been able to recently! It will take a few days for me to overcome the colitis attack, but I'll be alright. Earlier this afternoon, I went out to breath some fresh air and to feel the feeble Autumn sun on myself. It felt good. I managed to take some pictures of the hills, trees, and trails across the road from my house, one of which I wanted to post here. Then, as I returned to the house, I remembered my pumpkins which I recently bought to decorate my house for the Fall, and decided to show them to you instead. I think my pumpkin this year is the most perfect one I have ever had! I'll be sure to show you what it will look like when carved on Halloween. I will also tell you about my "pumpkin projects" during the time we lived in Iran.

My children are being very attentive to me. My younger son is playing Bob Marley, Jim Morrison, and Jethro Tull for me as I write this, and is washing the dishes. Ealier he was complaining that I don't take good care of myself, sounding like a grown-up! I have received wonderful letters from some of my readers, which have made me so happy. Except for my worries about the war machine at work, I feel so peaceful all of a sudden, and this is so welcome. Before long, I will have to gear up for an important project at work, and meet three publication deadlines for pieces in varying stages of development. This day, and this hour, however, will be spent relaxing and feeling peaceful, feeling blissfully free and happy. I wish the same for you.

Scattered Thoughts of Tuesday

San Francisco Bay From Ghirardelli Square, Saturday, September 8, 2007, having lunch with Mersedeh & Shabnam

1. I went to wish Dr. Zari Taheri a safe trip back to Japan tonight. Too bad she won't be back for another year or so. Her students in Japan are so lucky. I got home so late, I missed my chance to talk to a dear friend, as I had promised. Life overwhelms me sometimes.
2. Reese Erlich will be the Berkeley Lecture Series' guest speaker this Sunday, September 30th at 4 p.m. His lecture is entitled "Will the US attack Iran?" An experienced and reputable journalist, Erlich has reported from Iran (with Sean Penn) and Iraq five times. Erlich's book The Iran Agenda: The Real Story of US Policy and the Middle East Crisis, has just been published. The lecture will be at UC Berkeley, 110 Barrows Hall. Erlich is a very interesting man and an excellent speaker whose lectures I have attended before. It will be my older sister's birthday on Sunday, so I will attend if I can.
3. I am really upset with Columbia President, Lee Bollinger, for embarrassing the academic community worldwide. Regardless of what everyone thinks of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, it was so shocking to see a fine higher education institution invite the President of a country to their campus, and its highest official deliver such a rude political statement, driven not by academic intent, but with hostile words meant to appease Columbia donors and political lobbyists. If Columbia really believed in freedom of speech, one of the most valuable and revered pillars of American Constitution, after receiving their guest with respect, an academic dialogue should have ensued, encouraging their guest to answer questions in a civilized environment, something that could have taught Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a thing or two. How did ridiculing and insulting him enrich Columbia? It only served to feed the media frenzy started by warmongers on CNN and FoxNews, while adding nothing to the dialogue, failing humanity's expectations of a good university. I am embarrassed on so many levels for all that has been dear and meaningful to me, to be ridiculed and brokered for greed. Everything and everybody in Columbia embarrassed me yesterday. I would like to believe that such a blatent "sell-out" of American ideals and academic values would have never happened at Berkeley, had the meeting taken place here. If US attacks Iran, Columbia will forever have to bear the responsibility of stooping as low as FoxNews in facilitating an unwarranted war on innocent people of Iran. I am so upset.
4. On a happier note, I forgot to mention that my little car, Shabdiz, has been repaired and returned to me after that last accident my son had with it. Shabdiz is a member of our family who takes me to work and around, needing little, and giving me the only breaks during the day where I can be alone with my thoughts, my music, and my writing (while taking shape in my head). My daily trips into and around Berkeley were very sad without him. I'm glad Shabdiz is home. I am not loaning him to anyone again.

Praying For Peace

Some days are hard. Coming out of several weeks' hard work, sleeplessness, and stress, I was so looking forward to starting a relaxing and commitment-free week. My week has gotten off to a stressful start, with trepidations about what happened today at Columbia University, what is happening in my household, projects I must finish at work, and what is happening to a few friends of mine. Thinking about what will happen tomorrow at the United Nations is not terribly uplifting, either. All day today, I had a crippling headache, and my neck and shoulders went back to their cramped and painful state. Yikes. I guess I will just have to keep remembering how well our event on Saturday went, and how good we all felt when we got together last night to celebrate completion of the Seminar. My bright young friends came and in addition to the regulars, two other bloggers joined us for dinner last night. The Man Who Observes Texas is a very interesting character, full of joy of life! I end this day praying for peace.

Seminar Update-Last

O.K. This is the last set of pictures (I'm exhausted!). From the top: Leva of Baloot; Teleconferencing with Sanam Dowlatshahi of Khorshid Khanoom, talking about internet and bloggers; Jahanshah Javid accepts Certificate of Honor from City of San Francisco's Board of Supervisors for his service to Iranian community in diaspora; Ross Mirkarimi, City of San Francisco Supervisor awards Jahanshah Javid the City's Award; Arie (Arastoo) Siletz, an Iranian.com writer and an author.