10/03/2007

SMS

I'd like to make a confession. Starting when I was 14, and lasting until I was 20, I used to hate school, classes, courses, teachers, and grades. I never studied, and defied every expectation by my parents to take my education seriously. Books, friends, and parties were my sole preoccupation. I attempted a college education three times, dropping out or ending prematurely, before I attended college seriously to earn a degree. I never get over how lucky I was to have been able to have second and third and fourth chances at an education, knowing now all too well that not everyone can be so lucky. In raising my children, I have tried so hard not to be a hypocrite. How can I tell them to study hard when I was so defiant of an education at their age? I want them to love going to college, because until I started loving college, no pressure, no intimidation, and no competition ever worked for me. So, I support and I encourage, but never push them. They need to figure it out by themselves.
I was engrossed in a project at work today, feeling, as I do frequently these days, pressured for time, feeling a bit overwhelmed when I heard the little beep on my cellular phone, announcing a new message. I checked the message. It was from my younger son who started college this year. It said simply: "I got an A for my essay." I never thought such a thing was possible, but at that moment and for the information that the one line message conveyed, I felt happier and more accomplished than I had ever felt for any good grade I ever received during my own education. I think the reason is that after a very turbulant start, I believe he is on his way.

16 comments:

Siah said...

Haha thats great, congrats,

I see your point about not being hypocrite but I have to confess I really hate how Americans treat their kids. They are raising them as they are developing a bunch of wimps for the future of this country.

I guess this notion of "whatever makes you happy" is ruining this country. I will do whatever it takes to raise a good kid, I will bit him, cut his raft-o-amad and lock him in his room to study. He should be whoever I faild to be

Okay I'm gonna write a comment on the older post

Mehran said...

good for you him Nazy jan. this is just statrt, I hope he will brings more A's and prode for you. you are well deserved.

Nazy said...

Siah Jan:

Actually, my kids are always reminding me that I am not "easy." I do demand tremendous responsibility of them when I encourage them "to do their best in everything they take on." Each of my sons became taller and bigger than me when he was about eleven, so I'm glad I never thought of a physical engagement with them! If I may brag a little, I'll tell you a story. My father never raised his voice, let alone his hand, to us. The worst punishment we ever received from him, which killed us, was when he would look at us a certain way, showing his dismay. We were always on our best behavior, avoiding receiving "the look." Not too long ago, the two of them were teasing me about how quiet I was, asking me if I was unhappy. I said, no, I'm fine, just quiet. Then they both said: "But you are giving us that look, that 'you are so dismayed' look!" Hee hee hee! Go figure! It took me 20 years, but I figured out "the look!"

Be good Siah Jan. I can't wait to meet the baby Siah you will be raising!

Nazy said...

Thank you Mehran Jan! As we all know from experience, the first semester in college is really tough, so his grades might fluctuate. I was touched that while he was still in class he thought to share his good news with me. I have been telling you that he has changed and has become more caring all of a sudden! Be good doostam.

مانا said...

نازی عزیز -مامان خوب و دوست داشتنی احساس خوبتو درک میکنم.امیدوارم همیشه کارهایی را انجام بدی که از ته قلب دوست داری

Marjan said...

Hi Nazi,
I found you! This Internet makes the world smaller than it is; isn't it? I must say that I'd missed you and glad to find you again. congrat on his good mark. Well done!

Tameshk said...

Oh!

Nazy Joonam

You are the Best! I am sure your children are proud of you as much as you are proud of them.

Shobeir said...

Who can assert that no news is good news!

It seems u are a successful mother :D congrats!

Nazy said...

Salam Mana Jan. Wait until that beautiful Shaya grows up! I think we truly enjoy our children more as adults who can think, care, give, and understand. I hope you had a fabulous "Wednesdays with Mana and Manoochehr" party! Be good azizam.

Nazy said...

Salam Marjan Jan! What a surprise! You make it sound as though I disappeared, though! Just a new beginning my friend. Yes, internet does make the world smaller, but big hearts, big enough to remember and hold all the happy memories, still prevail. I am delighted you found me and came. Come again.

Nazy said...

Beautiful Tameshk: The feeling is mutual. A smart and fun Gilandokht, you will make a fabulous mother yourself someday. It's always nice to hear from you.

Nazy said...

Shobeir Jan: Na baba, in khabar ha ham nist! I believe that small victories, small wonderful events, as opposed to complicated projects, are what is needed for people to find their ways and to prosper. A first A is a very good light to shine on a young person's road in life. It will keep him motivated to keep trying. That's what makes me so happy. Be good Shobeir Jan.

Anonymous said...

سلام نازی جان
خانممی چند وقته که خارج از ایرانی؟
و حتما اون جا درس خوندی...کلیییییییییی قشنگ مینویسی!!!


مرضیه

Nazy said...

Salam Marzieh Jan. Thank you for coming back. I came to US in the late 1970's to attend college. I have intermittently lived in both Iran and US ever since. Thank you for the compliment. When somebody lives in another country for a long time, the least she can do is to learn their language properly, nothing important accomplished there! Be good azizam.

nimshab said...

This was a sweet confession :) Good for you and your sons.

Nazy said...

Thank you sweet Nimeh Shab! These are days you, too, will visit, except that I'm sure with your devotion to science, Arman will probably be raised to be much more studious than my children! All I could teach my kids was to express themselves through writing! Be good azizam.