10/09/2007

Ms. Wisdom Fails

Looking out the window at work today.
My older son has been experiencing office politics lately. The whole story of rivalry, gossip, and potential backstabbing is finding its way into his so far inexperienced work life. He calls to "consult" with me. I listen, ask some questions, and give him my opinion. In his funny and sarcastic way, he says: "Thanks for the fortune cookie, Mom," and we hang up. Though he appears to have learned his fundamental lessons about honesty and integrity, he appears unwilling to learn about self preservation and conflict management. I can't convince him to walk up to someone and discuss his feelings openly, seeking a mutually satisfying solution. Part of me thinks that this is because he is young and as yet inexperienced. Part of me, though, thinks that he is having a "typical male" approach to his predicament, staying uncompromising and bullish when he feels he hasn't done anything wrong, and that there really couldn't be a better way for bringing harmony to his environment. As I sit at my desk and feel inadequate in helping him, I also feel for both my sons today. They are men who are trying to find their way through life with a woman as their only present consultant, confidant, and teacher. I suppose telling him "to try and work it out with your coworker before escalating it to your manager," might sound like a fortune cookie piece of advice. Sigh.

5 comments:

Tameshk said...

My Dearest Nazy

I am certain you did not fail.

I had the same experience at work and it was the first time I had such a problem with my coworker. My intelligent lovely mother suggested that I wait and see instead of taking an action. And of course I did not listen and as she had predicted everything turned up the way I did not want. The next time when some problems happened then I trusted her judgment. And It was great.

It may feel like failing but I am sure you did not fail as my mom didn't. There is a day that we, ignorant hardheaded kids, will find a way to tank our parents for their wisdom and advice, but it might not be the exact day that we received the advice.

Nazy said...

Thank you Tameshk Jan! Your mother has raised a fine young woman in you. Your comment gives me immense hope! Thank you.

! said...

I believe you are a perfect mother Nazy jan ...

Nazy said...

Salam Uni-Far Jan: Perfect? Far from it! I do try hard, though. Thank you for your vote of confidence! Parenting is a complicated business, especially when you try hard to be a friend to your children. For their part, my children are very good kids, attentive and sensitive, and generous to me. Just the same, it was really sweet to read your comment this morning. Be good azizam.

farshad said...

:)