10/27/2007

Language of the Heart

Fall outside my windows. Photo by Traveler.
I was cleaning up in the kitchen. My older son was getting ready to go to work. Earlier he had been in the kitchen, asking me about his red tie and his work pants. Now downstairs, I heard him say something like: "Mom,....Oh No!" I went to his room to see what was wrong and found the door closed. Me: I couldn't hear you, what's going on? Him: Calm down, nothing's wrong. Me: I know nothing's wrong, just tell me why you called me. Him: Mom, don't worry. (Something about that phrase always makes me really worry. So, talking through the door,) Me: Please just tell me what it is. Him: Oh, I thought I had lost something and then I remembered where it was. Me: Oh, O.K. Thanks for telling me. (As I got ready to leave, I heard him again.) Him: It's just that I really don't like it when you worry. (Switching into his "young Iranian lingo,”) Him: Maman, chet nazan! Me: I wasn't worried, just curious. Chet nazadam baba! (Still in his room and through the door) Him: Mom, I can always feel your emotions through your voice and words. I know when you are worried. There is something in your voice when you have panicked, and when I hear it, I panic too! Me: …………. I think for the first time since he was born, my son and I have started to speak the same language--the language of the heart.

16 comments:

نیلوفر said...

I'm good Nazy jan . Reading and writing are the best things in my world . When i am sad , i just need to write it or read my friend's blogs...
By the way,
I am sure you are younger than my mom but you are acting in the same way . I understand this sentence : "There is somthing in your voice..." . I can feel it . You are a lovely mom, Nazy jan .
Be happy

! said...

من فکر می کنم این حس مادرانه همونطور که نیلوفر عزیز هم اشاره کرده بین تمام مادر ها مشترک باشه ...
حداقل در مورد مامان جون من ! که اینطوره !!!
البته من هم کاملا این حس رو درک می کنم و البته اغلب از این دست دیالوگها بین ما (من و مامان) برقرار هست ...
البته من هم فکر میکنم شما واقعا مادر دوست داشتنی ای باشی نازی جان
Be Good !!!

Marzieh said...

Salam

dokhtar man ke age begam madresat deer shode mige to mano mitarsooni!!!

بانوي جشنواره زمستان said...

نازي جان ، چه خوب و ملموس اين گفتگو رو به تصوير کشيدي

fari said...

می دونی نازی جان
این اگر بین کسایی که همدیگر رو دوست دارن درک بشه هیچوقت به مشکلی بر نمی خورن چون تو دلشون فقط محبته و محبت پس تحت هیچ شرایطی و به خاطر هیچ گفتگویی از هم ناراحت نمی شن

Nazy said...

Niloofar-e-Aziz:

I'm glad you are writing, and your poems are really sweet and wonderful. Hee Hee, yes, all mothers are the same, worrying all the time. The jury is still out on how good or bad a parent I have been. Until our children have children of their own, and come tell us how it felt to be our children, we won't know! My relationship with my own mother started as a true friendship between two women when I had my first child. God bless all mothers, and my mother in heaven. Be good Niloo Jan.

Nazy said...

Uni-Far Jan: Thank you. I agree with your first point. We should all do our best in whatever role we have. Considering there are no "User's Manuals" on parenthood, there is a good chance that we will make some mistakes along the way. The only thing I can do and be sure that I did it correctly, is to love my children and respect them as the adults that they are now. Khoda madare to ra barayat hefz koneh Farshad Jan.

Nazy said...

Marzieh Jan: I commiserate with you! Someday, they will miss all the spoiling and unconditional loving they have received in our homes. I really appreciate my relationship with my children as they have grown into young men. It has gotten easier on many levels, I believe. They will leave all too soon, so I try to make the best of the time we now have together. Be good Marzieh Jan.

Nazy said...

Salam Fari Jan: I believe love is the most important ingredient of relationships. As essential as it is, though, there are other elements necessary for sucessful relationships. Trust and respect are also very important. You are right, though, so long as people in any type of relationship talk and communicate with each other lovingly, most problems can be solved. Be good wise Fari!

Nazy said...

Salam Bar Banoo Neda! Thank you. I wrote an ordinary conversation which is important to me. Nothing spectacular, except that it is meaningful to me. Take care Neda Jan.

مانا said...

من مامانم همیشه میگه تو چه جوری متوجه حالات من میشی؟ من نه تنها همه حالاتشو درک میکنم بلکه علت کارهاشو هم حدس میزنم.شاید دلیلش اینه که اوقات زیادی را باهم بودیم.درهر صورت نازی جون خیلی متنت به دلم نشست.به این ارتباط ( ارتباط غیر کلامی هم می گویند که بین مادر و فرزندان خیلی قویه). شاد و خوب باشی.

Nazy said...

Salam Mana Jan: The "wordless communication" is the newest phase of my interaction with my kids! Prior to this, we used to speak Farsi or English, and "body language" to each other! This new phase is what I call the "language of the heart." It is a rewarding experience and certainly a lot more fun that the "language of screams" we had to speak for a while when they were teenagers! I am happy!

مانا said...

language of screamsکلی منو خندوند

! said...

خیلی ممنونم نازی عزیز

nimshab said...

:) Charming!

Nazy said...

Thank you Nimeh Shab Jan! These times await you my dear, except I think you will have your hands full, as Arman displays extraordinary intelligence and resourcefulness even at this age. I can't wait to see what games he will play on you and M! Shine and sparle Nimeh Shab Jan.