10/29/2007

The Clock

Nature's artistic shapes happen on my fruit platter! Photo by Tameshk.
My sons went to bed early tonight. The house is quiet and I can hear the appliances and clocks humming and ticking, noises normally lost in the active and awake household.
There is a digital clock in my house which has been locked up in a far drawer somewhere, deliberately making it hard for me to hear it. I have hidden this clock, because I don't have the heart to throw it away yet, and can't bear to have it around, either. This is a clock that sat on my desk at work in Tehran. It is still running on Tehran time because I never figured out how to operate it properly. When I first arrived in California from Tehran a couple of years ago, the clock was still where I could hear it chime once every hour, and 24 times at midnight, Tehran time, which was around noon local time. I remember everytime it chimed, I would think of Tehran and a memory I had left in it. When it chimed 24 times at Tehran midnight time, I would be filled with sad feelings about something deeply personal and painful. Before I found a job, it was a perfectly routine thing in my day to be crying at that same time almost everyday. When I moved into my new house, some things, pictures, mementoes, and that clock, were all moved into a spot where they could not be seen, heard, or touched again. In certain spots of my house, however, I can still hear the clock chime on the hour sometimes. I'm just hoping that the battery would run out one of these days, so that the clock, too, would become quiet like my heart finally did.

16 comments:

نیلوفر said...

What a nice photo!!!
I'm still looking for a way to overcome all these pain.
I arrived here six month ago and i know i should wait for a year, at least . I miss all the thing i'd left in iran .
Everything is going well now and I am sure it will become better .But there is a nostalgia insight me . Always ...
By the way,
I love the way you are writing. I am trying to learn it from you :) .
Good dreams Nazy jan .

بانوي جشنواره زمستان said...

نازي جان
اون پست هايي رو که گفته بودي خوندم و چقدر در اين پست خوب منظورت رو فهميدم... چقدر اينجا رو دوست دارم و چقدر با
from berkeley
احساس خوبي دارم

مانا said...

آه.دلم یه جوری شد این را که خواندم امیدوارم همیشه خوب و خوش باشی نازی جون.

نیما said...

نزدیک رودبار منطقه ای ییلاقی هست به اسم فیلده.بچه تر که بودم زیاد آنجا می رفتیم...این وقت سال اگه شانس باهات یار باشه و یه درخت انار گیرت بیاد میتونی ساعت ها به سادگی از زندگیت لذت ببری...

! said...

نازی عزیزم
اتفاقا من هم ساعتی به وقت کالیفرنیا دارم ....
من فکر می کنم آدم در هر جایی که دوستی داره باید ساعتی هم داشته باشه تا بتونه با کسی که نسبت بهش مهری داره ارتباطی از نوع زمان برقرار کنه ....
----------------------
نازی عزیزم انسان همیشه به خاطراتش زندست ....
برای من خاطراتی که گذشتن چه خوب و چه بد همه خاطراتی خوب هستند و من با اونها زندگی می کنم
و شاید هم بهشون افتخار می کنم و دوستشون دارم
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راستی من هم از عکس این پست خیلی خوشم اومد من رو یاد گلابی های امسال باغ انداخت که خیلی خوشمزه بودن ولی چون دیر رفتیم بیاریمشون همه خراب شدن و گندیدن !!!
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راستی نازی عزیز
باغ ما در طالقان کنار رودخونه است و همیشه صدای زیبای آب و بلبلها و حشرات وحشی با صدای رودخونه تلفیق قشنگی رو بوجود میاره که واقعا به آدم آرامش میده ....
قسمت اول نوشتت من رو شدیدا به یاد این صدای آرامش بخش انداخت که فکر می کنم ریشه در آرامشی داره که موقع نوشتن این مطلب داشتی
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روز خوش

نیلوفر said...

I'm just coming to read your post again and have a look on comments...
Haha ..what did i mean with saying insight ?! :D heehee

nimshab said...

Suddenly I feel I have missed you so much. I doubt if you miss me though ;)

Shobeir said...

True, natural beauty is in the simple things....
I deeply understand what u mean...
What can a human do with the Life time battery of mind.... ?

Nazy said...

Salam Niloo Jan: Thank you for coming again my friend. I'm glad you understand my sentiments. I have adapted an American proverb to say: "You can take me out of Iran, but you can't take Iran out of me." (The original proverb says: You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy.).

Thank you for your compliment. Your English is quite good and your Farsi is also very sweet and sensitive. Don't worry about the typo, as sometimes I go back to read some of the things I have written and I find ghastly mistakes! It happens all the time, and I write too much now to worry about every word spelled correctly. Be good my wonderful young friend.

Nazy said...

Salam bar Neda! Thank you and I feel really good when I come visit your blog, too. I'm glad you know more about my whereabouts now that you have read those earlier posts. Sometime ago, I also went and read your earlier blog and posts. My observation is that you are in a much happier space right now, and I'm happy for that. Be happy beautiful Neda.

Nazy said...

Mana Jan, I'm good and happy, thank you! In my writing practice(siah mashgh), sometimes I write about random feelings that I may have had in the past. I can never write fiction; I can only write about my own experinces. Bear with me, as some of the stories I tell about those feelings are sadder than the others, but collectively, they tell my story of personal triumph and happiness just as I am today. Be good sweet Mana.

Nazy said...

Nima Jan, welcome back! I never heard about Fildeh. I really want to go see it, so it is now added to my list of "places to see before I live a long life!" Thank you for your comment and for the good tip! You rock!

Nazy said...

Uni-Farshad Jan: Thank you for your kind and thoughtful comment. Yes, I was peaceful when I wrote that post. Living by a river sounds so fabulous! I dreamt once that my parents now live in a cottage by a river. It was such a sweet and energetic dream. Maybe they live in Taleghan's Kash village now! Heaven can't look too differently if you ask me. Be good azizam.

Nazy said...

Nimeh Shab-e Azizam: You are so sweet! Of course I miss you a lot! You and your loving husband and that sweet angel, Arman, are three of the best things that happened to me this year. I not only miss you, but I think about you often, sending you good vibes in your new job and in your efforts to balance your young family and your career. Now I must make a point of seeing you to tell you all of this in person! Be good intelligent and beautiful Leila.

Nazy said...

Salam Shobeir Jan: I'm so glad you could get into the comments section again. Hee hee, I hope the battery of life and mind doesn't run out on us anytime soon! I think we should take our memories and our experiences and build something wise and strong on top of them. If I hadn't cried the rivers that I did in my lifetime, I could never enjoy the smiles and laughters that I experience now as much as I do. Pain is inevitable, but it can be used to enjoy life better later. Take care my artist, scientist, poet, and philosopher friend!

! said...

:)