Headache

In the middle of the “organized chaos” that starts my day at 5:30 a.m. (jump out of bed, take a shower, put the tea on, start-up the computer, run through emails from Iran, run through the news, hurriedly exchange some instant messages with friends in European time zones, dry hair, wake up the boys, get dressed, make lunch for the boys, get all of us into the car, drop the boys off, drive to work, park, run, and get into my office), I notice that I have a headache. Uh-Oh! Early morning headaches mean migraine attacks for me—headaches which will stay for a couple of days, driving me crazy and less than functional. I’m thinking it must be the stress of the past couple of days, spent in worry and anxiety for a number of personal, professional, and political issues, worrying about changing homes, a difficult project at work, or the women arrested in Tehran. Then I remember. I was sitting in my boss’s office yesterday and we were talking about something and we were laughing jovially, and I bent my head backwards and hit it hard against the wall! It made an ominous sound and hurt like hell, but I was also laughing like a maniac, so I didn’t stop laughing! Then I forgot all about it. So, it is likely that my head hurts not because of stress but because of laughter! How ironic is that? Then I think to myself, isn’t this typical and representative of my life these days? I laugh like a maniac, because life is beautiful, and I cry and worry, because life is ugly, too? I need to make up my mind: is it beautiful or ugly? Should I laugh or cry? Well, I figure, life is beautiful. It comes with pains and ugliness and evil, too, but if you have a purpose, occasionally you can hit your head against the wall, or fill it with sad thoughts, and give yourself a headache or some tears, but then you can just move on and be happy again at the first opportune moment. My head hurts, but I think I just met my first opportune moment! I’m happy.