4/16/2008

Elsa and Her Contraptions

Soltanieh Dome, Zanjan, Iran. Photo by Meisam Mohammadi, April 14, 2008.
The nurse's name was Elsa. She directed me to a bed to lie down so that she could do a sonogram on my left breast. I obliged, remarking that the room was a bit cold. She agreed and went to get me a blanket. A few minutes later, she returned with a heated blanket, and covered me with it. She started the procedure. It was so strange. I was so peaceful and calm. I had gone in for a mammogram last Friday. Yesterday I received a call, telling me to go back for more image work, because they had seen something in my left breast. I went in at 9:30, when they did another mammogram, only this one was harder. Those of you who have had to endure one would know that the procedure entails squeezing each breast on this contraption, I guess trying to flatten it (!) for the X-rays to come out clearly. After that second mammogram, after which I was sure my left breast would be flattened forever, they reviewed the results and told me that I now had to go through a sonogram. I knew better than to ask the nurse and the technician to tell me why they had to do the extra work on me. They would have told me to talk to the doctor, so I kept quiet. I was thinking of all the women who would go through the same thing everyday all over the world, waiting to be told some ominous news. I was thinking how strange that I didn't feel any trepidation or anxiety.
I was lying on the bed under my warm blanket, looking at the monitor which showed a dark spot. I asked Elsa: "Is it big?" She said: "It's not big and it's not small. It's medium. And there are several others, too." I shook my head and closed my eyes. The cool room and the warm blanket and the humming of the machine next to me were making me so sleepy. So I went to sleep. I woke up to Elsa's voice. How long had I been sleeping? I smiled and said: "Is it over? I guess I wasn't too worried about this!" Elsa said kindly: "The doctor says you're fine. He says to tell you to come back again next year." It was hard to get up and get dressed and go home. I rather liked all the fuss!

25 comments:

jeerjeerak said...

oh my god. it was hard to keep reading this post. every word was getting heavier and heavier on me... thanks god you're fine, thank god.

Shobeir said...

OMG!!!
It was your most breath-taking post!
Thanx god...

مسعود said...

تنت به ناز طبیبان نیازمند مباد
وجود نازکت آزرده گزند مباد
سلامت همه آفاق در سلامت توست
به هیچ عارضه شخص تو دردمند مباد
شفا زگفته شکر فشان حافظ جوی
که حاجتت به علاج گلاب و قند مباد

shokaran said...

I wish health for you and everybody on the earth.

نیلوفر said...

میبخشید نازی جون ولی من نتونستم و از نیمه راه پریدم اخرش را خوندم . سخت بود پیوسته خوندن...خوشحالم که خوبین...خیلـــــــــــــی خوشحالم
می بوسمتون

Daisy said...

Thank God!!
Please don't do that to me again. You scared me. I'm very happy you're all right, VERY HAPPY. I think you should celebrate:)

I came back home today. It's nice to be home even for a short time:)

Esfand` said...

Wish you healthy and a long happy life!!
n this was alarming .... so take good care of ur self.

Mina said...

Hi Nazy Joon,
Such a courage! I hold my breath till I finished the last two sentences.
Lucky you, I'm so glad.
Mehr,
Mina

SERENDIP said...

Nazy jan: Koshti va zendeh kardi ma ro..I'm so relieved...I have been sick with a bleeding ulcer and a massive cold...

Anonymous said...

Dear nazy

I wish you a safe and sound life for too many years!

Congratulation for acceptance of your talented son. I am sure he has many of his capability from you nazy.

Best regards
Soshiyans

Heather Rastovac said...

Yes dear Nazy, I am also so happy to hear that everything is fine for you and that you have been blessed with good health. : )
Also, I am so happy to hear that your son has been accepted to UC Santa Cruz! How wonderful!

Happy bahar, Nazy joon.

Ahmad said...

Dear Nazy-jan! This piece was a worrying one to read through. I am content to hear that the final results show nothing serious. Your son had made his best to have a good timing of bringing good news to you! I’m sure all boys are like that ;)

I've not been through conditions that would bring a major health concern, so certainly I don't truly feel and comprehend what you’ve gone through. However, some years ago back in Iran, I observed a close friend of mine going through it. He defended his graduate thesis with lots of stress and pressure. A couple of days after his defense, he realized he sees two copies of everything (the left and right eyes had their own separate viewpoint!). I had the chance to go with him to eye doctor who after careful examination said the problem is anything but his eyes; his neural system in brain. My friend was referred to a brain doctor, later for MRI and other tests. During that couple of weeks he seriously thought his fate was being concluded. He was a year or two in his marriage, and is the only son of his parents; he was worried about the three. After a couple of weeks, his vision gradually went back to normal operation. The only explanation the doctors had that perhaps the late stress and pressure of his work and study caused that temporal malfunctioning.

Choice is not ours obviously, but the awareness that such situations bring is valuable. I hope you take care of yourself as mush as you do for your sons, family, and friends. And congratulations on your son’s successes; getting accepted and having his poems getting published, …

Nazy said...

Dear Beautiful Jeerjeerak:

Sorry for spooking you! Heeh! I won't do it again (unless I have to!). I hope you are healthy and well my sweet friend.

Nazy said...

Shobein Jan, Salam! Chetori baba? I miss you! Come more often. I know I have been bad with replying to comments, but I'm going to be good again! Be happy doost-e man.

Nazy said...

Salam Masoud Jan:

My "Golab-o-ghand" is the daily visits of my friends, such as yourself! Thank you for your kindness and for the beautiful poem.

Nazy said...

Shokaran Jan:

Thank you very much. And I wish the same for you my friend.

Nazy said...

Salam Niloofar Joonam:

Hee Hee! I know what you mean! I'm not very good with suspense myself, either!

It's always wonderful hearing from you azizam. Please come again soon.

Nazy said...

Daisy Joonam:

Sorry for the suspense!

I hope you have had a good time with your family. Thank God for families, don't you think?

Thanks so much for coming to see me azizam.

Nazy said...

Salam Esfand Jan:

I am still blown away that you like Majid Majid's movies! How fun!

Thanks so much for your kind words.

Nazy said...

Beautiful Mina Jan:

Really, the suspense wasn't too intentional! I just started writing it like it was and that's how it turned out! I wished I was a good enough writer to carry out a deliberately suspenseful story successfully.

Thank you for being my friend Mina Jan, even though I haven't been a very good one to you myself. Be good azizam.

Nazy said...

Dear Serendip-e-Ziba:

Oh no, a bleeding ulcer! You know and I know what causes that! I hope you are feeling better my friend. Sorry for giving you even more stress with my post! Please take good care of yourself, Serendip, as you are dear and precious to me, probably more than you know!

Nazy said...

Salam Soshiyans Jan:

Thank you so much for your warm words. My son is only just realizing his potential in life, and I am so happy for him. I learned my own potentials rather late in life, and then had to work hard to realize them. We always want things to be bigger and better for our children, but we have to remember that they are independent individuals who will need to explore and experiment and experience things to find the best way forward by themselves.

Thank you again for coming and for your ahvalporsi. You are great!

Nazy said...

Salam to my sweet and artistic Heather:

Thank you so much for coming and for your sweet and wise words. I am so sorry a similar doctor's visit didn't have good news for your lovely mother. I pray for her health and continually send you and her good vibes for a speedy and complete recovery.

Your encouraging words for my son are valued, indeed, coming from such a hard-working and accomplished individual. I love you Heather. (I will have to tell you a story under separate cover!). Be good azizam.

Nazy said...

Salam Ahmad Jan:

What a wonderful comment you left for me--well, it's more like a letter, and I thank you for it!

Thanks for your good wishes. Heeh, well, I don't have any daughters, so all my good news and bad come from my two boys!

I know what you mean about stress. I have also observed what it can do to perfectly healthy people. My life has mostly "good" stress, with an active and busy routine, full of nice surprises and events. But stress is stress, I guess! In my attempts to turn a new leaf, I have decided to worry less and do less. I am going to avoid deadlines of all kind if I can help it, especially as pertains to my volunteer work. I hate the pressure of deadlines which writing tends to pose. So, I will write less but more deeply, if I can. I should learn to say "N O" more easily and more frequently! I am really committed to this new regiment, so we will see if it works.

Thanks so much for caring and for writing. Thank you also for your good words for my son. He is coming of age and I am delighted for him. Though it is really hard for me, I'm always talking with joy about their lives after they leave the house to go and live somewhere farther away, attending university and building their independent lives. I don't want them to ever worry about me or to feel responsible for looking after me. I have made my choices in life and I am willing to live with them--that is my responsibility, not theirs. No matter how brave I sound, though, I cherish these days which will be the end of an era for our family. Once children leave their parents' home, they seldom return and in a way, they shouldn't, either. Life beckons them and they must heed the call. There is sweet sadness in that knowledge, as well as a lot of excitement for their future achievements.

Do you have any children Ahmad? If you do, or if you have had nieces and nephews, you would know what I'm saying. I think in a couple of years, I'll be ready to move into that two-bedroom place I have always wanted to have in Berkeley, leaving my life in the suburbia behind me and starting a new phase of my life! For now, I will enjoy these months and days with them under my roof to the fullest.

Thanks again for your kind note. Be good and happy my friend in Texas.

Esfand` said...

Salam Nazy Khanoom !

I think every one will like him if they see his movies, he is awesome!
He is right now topping my list of contemporary foreign artists.

take good care of your health!