I went to a funeral today. It was a very peaceful and loving gathering to bury my friend Parisa's father. I don't know a better Moslem than Parisa. In her lifestyle and thinking, she has truly surrendered to God's will, which is what a Moslem is supposed to do, I guess. When I see her, I always wonder what those other people who claim to be Moslems are talking about when they hate and kill. The circle of people who loved Parisa's father made the gathering one of peaceful reflection and joy of togetherness. For some reason, I didn't cry, though I'm prone to downpours in funerals. I think I may know why, though.
This week I have been driving a rental car, as my car was totalled in the accident. When I got in the car to drive to work on Wednesday, I found a yellow post-it note on the CD player. It was a note from my younger son. It simply said: "For you, Mom." I listened to the CD which started with Boston's
More Than A Feeling, followed by many other tracks of music I love and listen to periodically. My son must have spent a long time finding those songs and compiling the CD for me, all of his own accord. My eyes filled with the tears that had been threatening for days, and which I had blinked away in my effort to cope with the incidents that have been occupying my mind recently. In all of the released emotions caused by the music and my son's gesture, I felt so liberated and peaceful to know that even when he appears so aloof and devil-may-care, there is someone in my life who knows me so very well and who cares a great deal about me and my happiness. True, I'm sure he didn't want his gift to make me cry, but sometimes tears liberate us of feelings which must be released before we can feel peaceful again.
So, there you have it--the woman who cries her makeup down on her way to work, but can't cry at a funeral, because these days, my tears are all for love and none for sadness. Yes, I cry, a lot! But more and more for the beauties of life. And life
is beautiful.
Tea and chocolate with Omid and Helaleh this evening. Photo of a sign inside Alegio Chocolates of Berkeley.
22 comments:
سلام نازی جان
چقدر خوب گفتی و چه توانائی در کشف راز زیبائی های زندگی
پس همیشه ببار نازنینم
مرضیه
سلام نازی خانم
a mother to the point of tears.
من این حروف نوشتم چنانکه غیر ندانست
توهم زروی کرامت چنان بخوان که تودانی
باز هم این خامه ات از سر،نوشت
قصه ای از زندگی از سرنوشت
باز هم جاری شد از آن دیده ها
اشک شوقت از ره خوش حال ها
باز هم گسترده ای خوان صفا
بهر ما آورده آیین وفا
باز هم مرغ دلت پرواز کرد
چرخه ای بر بام ها آغاز کرد
باز هم دستی زدی از روی مهر
از تو فرخنده بود گردون سپهر
این همه آوای شادی بر لبت
اندکی از آنچه داری در دلت
سلام نازی عزیز
تطیلات و مسافرت باعث شد نتونم اینجا سر بزنم. کلی پست برای خودن داشتم و ناگهان فهمیدم که چه خطر بزرگی را گذروندی!!
نازی عزیز خدا به خواننده های مطالب قشنگت هم لطف داشته به ویژه من!!
همیشه سبز باشی عزیز و خالی از بغض نازنین
PLease take care of yourself more and more..
Best regards,
Soshiyans
Salam Nazy joon. I just got a chance to look at your site for a glance. Briefly I learned that you had an accident, that made me so worry, and that you are doing better by now...that is a relief. I am sorry that my life had became so hectic that don't let me have more time to spend with my dear friends, like you. I am sorry if I ma late to know you did have hard time last weeks..please let me know how are you doing now, and wish you all the best,,A big hug and lots of good energy for you from 'Hezar Baloot' :-))
"Next time fabricate something that can cry"
This is the very last sentence of Mrs Moniro Ravanipour's short story (after a robot jump down from a skyscraper and do a suicide)...
I don't cry alot, usually less than one time per year and I'm really sorry about it :D
Crying is the best pain killer I guess:D
It becomes drastically beautiful when it shows love....
ENJOY! ENJOY! ENJOY! (I'm still drunk ;) )
oops! commit a suicide I meant!
Shobeir :P
Salam bar Nazy e aziz...
Hope you are doing well..
I come here everyday to read your posts and I have to admit that I enjoy them very much :)
Be happy and healthy..
Salam Nazy~
I think, crying for sweet things in life is something that just happens, n is more easy than crying for sad things. As we usually have so many inhibitors which stop us from crying about sad things, like certain social and personal inhibitors, which we and the society usually doesnt apply to this crying spontaneously as a result of facing something sweet n simple like some ones love it self.
I dont have much of a plan, as far as going on with Persian is concerned, just waiting for a couple of books. But yeah I do have a target, which includes learning Persian in a year, and writing atleast 5 articles/blogs about contemporary Irani culture, society and some issues from history too.
So thanks for pointing out Forough Farrokhzad, I have not read her, but surely I will. Its like every day I come across something new about Persian, art, language, culture, history, ... I have good friends like you I can say :)
Another friend of mine yesturday told me about Sohrab Sepehri, and so I think I can work on both of these poets together.
I just saw this awesome movie, Santoori (my first Irani-Persian movie), love Mohsen Chavoshi, and specially the song, sange saboor, trying to translate it :)
btw ... I love this picture :)
"If you love me I am yours!" =)
Chalk-late box :D
سلام سال نو هم مبارک با تاخیر! امیدوارم که خوب باشی و کلی ناراحت تصادفت شدم
من باید یک فکری به حال اشکهام بکنم.چون کاملا خارج از اختیارمند.فرقی نداره موضوع چیه اگه بخواهند بیان پایین کاریشون نمی تونم بکنم!
Nazy joon, Beautiful post! I have the same problem with my make up! which runs down and over my white pillows all the time!, they say they are water proof, but none is tear proof! :)
سلام مرضیه جان. دلم برات تنگ شد، کجایی؟! اشک های من گر چه بعضی وقتها لازم هستند، بسیار زودگذرند! زود تمام می شوند و زندگی به حالت عادی خودش بر می گردد.
شاد و سربلند باش و سلام به همسرت و بوسه بر صورت زیبای یاسی جانم.
سلام مسعود جان:
A mother to the point of tears...
البته که میدانم منظورت چیست و به کدام حکایت اشاره می کنی! آن قصه بسیار زیبا بود و عمیقا روی من تاثیر گذاشت. ترجمهء آن هم بسیار زیبا و روان بود.
از حضورت و از کلمات پر مهرت ممنمونم دوستم.
مسعود جان:
از شعر بسیار زیبا نیز خجل و ممنونم. بسیار.
سوشیانس بسیار عزیز:
سال نو مبارک! امیدوارم تعطیلات به تو و خانوادهء عزیزت خوش گذشته باشد.
من حالم خوب است و بسیار از خدا ممنونم که من و دوستم و سرنشینان اتوموبیل دیگر را صحیح و سلامت نگه داشت.
سوشیانس جان من آدرس وبلاگ شما را متاسفانه گم کرده ام ونتوانستم آن را از بین دهها پست و صدها گزیرش پیدا کنم. لطفا اگر می شود مجددا آن را برای من بنویس تا به لیست وبلاگ های دوستانم اضافه کنم و از سردرگمی خلاص شوم!
شاد و سربلند باش و امیدوارم سال جدید برای تو پر از عشق و شادی و برکت باشد.
Dear Beautiful Chakameh in Hezar Baloot!
You are not late to anything my dear! You are always on time when you come to visit me. I am O.K. and on my way to recovery.
I hope your preoccupations are resolved speedily and that I can see your warm and wonderful presence in these parts again soon.
I hope to be able to see you in person in this year. Have a fabulous year my talented friend.
Dear Wonderful Shobeir:
I would love to read that Ravanipoor story! You know, I have a friend in these parts who is close friends with Miniro Ravanipoor and Shahriar Mandanipoor. He keeps telling me that they have promised to come visit some day soon! I did meet Shahriar Mandanipoor last year when he came and read a few parts of his new book for us in Berkeley.
I cry a lot and I'm not ashamed of it anymore! Hee Hee! That's why I say it is "liberating!" Men cry less frequently, at least in the presence of another person, but I think they also know that it is liberating. I have two women friends who tell me they cannot cry, and they tell me that they hate it!
Be good and happy sweet Shobeir. Though crying is definitely an option which should be left open, I hope you laugh and dance all the time. I definitely laugh and dance a lot more than I cry!
Salam Faribaye Azizam:
I am so glad you come to visit! It is always wonderful to hear from you, my wonderful Boushehri friend in Toronto!
Come again soon and my best to Amir and the kids.
Salam Esfand Jan:
You will love Forough if you like Sohrab Sepehri! Though Sohrab is a much happier poet, he was greatly influenced by Forough. He even has a poem he wrote for Forough: Bozorg bood, va az ahali- emooz bood...
I am so delighted to know that you are interested in Iranian literature and cinema. I saw Santoori. It was an interesting movie by a very good Iranian Director. It did make me sad though. Yes, the music was awesome. The santoor was played by Ardavan Kamkar, who is an excellent Santoor player. I have several of his CD's.
Be good and happy my friend.
مانا، مانا، سلام! سال نو مبارک! دلم برایت خیلی تنگ شده بود. امیدوارم مسافرت بهت خوش گذشته باشه.
اگر از من می شنوی، هیچ کاری با اشکهایت نداشته باش! من فکر می کنم گریه غم های آدم را می شوید و روح آدم را پالایش می دهد.
شاد و سربلند و همیشه خندان باش مانای به یاد ماندنی.
Salam Helaleh Jan:
My post was inspired by your friendship, azizam!
Heeh, I know what you mean about waterproof not meaning the same as tearproof! Could it be that our tears are salty and warm?
I hope your heart smiles and that your life is filled with laughter and joy my sweet friend. Thank you for the tea and a wonderful time.
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