The Woman Singing in My Heart

Haydeh sings shahrashoub.

Our friend, Hashem, had a small restaurant in the nearby Albany. His mother cooked the delicious food, and he and his brothers managed the restaurant. Sometimes on weekends he would invite Iranian singers and musicians to perform in the party room upstairs. Our children were young and when we attended the small concerts at Hashem's restaurant, we had to get babysitters and plan our time carefully. He was so happy one time to tell us that Haydeh was coming to town in a few weeks. We reserved a table for 8 for that Friday night and went about telling our friends to come along and arranging for a sitter. When Friday night rolled in, we first went to dinner and then upstairs to the first table off the small stage. In a few minutes the band started playing and Haydeh walked on stage. She looked really good and happy. Because it was a small crowd, it felt so cozy and family-like to be in that room with the singer a whole nation loved. At one point, I asked her to sing "soghati ," and she immediately started singing it, honoring me to no end. We had one of the best nights of our lives in that sweet atmosphere. It was 2:15 a.m. when we finally decided to leave, because we had to let the sitter go home. The concert, however, wasn't over yet, and as we left the building, all the way across the road in the parking lot, we could still hear Haydeh's sweet voice, singing my most favorite of her songs, "Narges-e-Shiraz."

When I woke up the next day, I was still really jazzed about the performance I had seen the night before. As usual, I called Hashem to thank him for the wonderful time we had had the night before and to give him feedback on the performance. Hashem's brother, Saeed, picked up the phone. He sounded different than his usual bubbly self. Was he sad? I asked him what was up, and he burst into tears, telling me that Haydeh had died in the early hours of that morning. Since then, and for the rest of my life, I carry the sadness and honor of having seen Haydeh in the last concert of her life. She was a legend to all Iranians, but I have felt her loss on a very personal level for all these years. She continues to live in the hearts of millions of Iranians now, and I believe none more profoundly than mine.