Saturday Musings

Jewelery shop in Mashad Bazaar. Photo by Shahireh Sharif.
I spent the day working around the house and thinking, talking to very few people. I was thinking about something I want to write for Valentine's Day. Last year I wrote a piece on the occasion for Iranian.com which caused much uproar! In it, I was basically saying that celebrating Valentine's Day or Love Day, cannot only mean that men and women would buy each other flowers and chocolates and gifts on that day, or on any day for that matter. I think just like all the other occasions, Love Day has turned into a commercial event, filled with silly expectations, and devoid of true love, understanding, and celebration of one another. Anyhow, this year, I would like to put together a list of wishes from my friends, real people with real things they would like their partners to do for them on Valentine's Day to show their love. What got me thinking about this is that my friend at work about whom I wrote a few weeks ago, is facing a very difficult time in her marriage. Her husband has now moved out and she is bereft with pain and loss. She said to me that she would like her husband to come home for Valentine's Day, but not just to have come home. She wants him to come back to the marriage and to her. I have put her wish on my list. One of my young friends also told me that since she has now lived with her boyfriend for 5 years, she would really like to hear him talk about marriage with her this Valentine's Day. I asked another friend and she said she would love her husband to take her to a play, something she loves and he hates! If any of you would like to put something on the list, please either leave a comment or send me an email and I will include it in my piece. I will share the piece with you when it's ready. It's been a long and exhausting day, so I end it right about now. Be good y'all.


Anonymous said...

سلام نازی جان
مقاله پارسال شماراجع به ولنتاین رو خوندم خیلی جالب بود و مفید بخصوص برای جوانتر ها.
این جریان دوست پسر و دختر هم بغرنجه گاهی.
دختر من یه همکلاس داره که مامان باباش هنوز ازدواج نکردن و مادره که جوان هم هست خیلی مشتاقه به این کار ولی پدره نه متاسفانه...2 تا بجه هم دارن
امیدوارم او هم به آرزوش برسه.
یک شنبه خوب و قشنگی رو برات آرزو میکنم. خوب استراحت کن عزیزم


masoud said...

سلام نازی خانم
راست گفته ای که همه چیز به اقتصاد وابسته شده و به نوعی هر چیز حتی امور غیر مادی مقیاسی پولی پیدا کرده است.متاسفانه و شاید هم خوشبختانه اینکار لازمه دنیای معاصر است.تصور کن کسی هدیه ندهد و به هر مناسبتی فقط اظهار محبت و دوستی و ووو بکند،آنوقت تولید کنندگان باید بروند کشک بسابند. مهم اینستکه اسیر این مقیاس نشویم،یعنی هر چه هدیه گرانتر لابد محبت بیشتر.این ملازمه درست نیست.
چقدر برای این دوست تو من متاسفم.همینکه آرزو دارد همسرش برگردد،معلوم است که اختلافی اگر هم در میان باشد از طرف او نیست.چه اگر بود باید اظهار خشم و ناراحتی از طرف او را هم شاهد باشیم.
تو اگر دلت به جایی گرم بود بازهم وقت میکردی اینهمه کار خوب و قشنگ ترتیب بدی؟ان شاءالله آنموقع هم همینطور خواهی بود.
من سعی می کنم آدم خوبی باشم ولی چون احتمال عدم توفیقم بالاست،آرزو میکنم همه کسانی که با من ارتباطی دارند بر من ببخشند
عزتت مستدام و شادیت برقرار

Ahmad said...

I had read the piece you wrote about your colleague and that her husband was mean to her during Christmas. That piece made me really sad, and I thought how dynamic a relationship is that can downgrade to such level just because he, she, or both didn't take care of it early enough. And now her husband has moved out. I truly hope her wish comes true...

I've have now become a daily reader of your blog. I hope you forgive me that I don't comment frequently, which is mostly because don't find much to add to your well-written pieces, and partly because of laziness. I also need to say that I very much enjoyed your Yalda story.

Unfortunately, I don't live nearby, otherwise I'd have stopped by to meet you and your great friends such as active bloggers, and Prof. Zadeh!

Wish you a great week ahead.

Nasim said...

Dear Nazy,

One think came across my mind about Valentine's day and I like to mention that to you.. Though it is a very general one and you probably talk about it in your piece..

and that is to be truly and deeply thankful for the good friends and the loved ones and not to take them for granted.. It is good to remind ourselves one in a while that life is too short and we may not have the same circle of people around us next year..

Anonymous said...

حسین بیشتر از آب، تشنه ی لبیک بود اما افسوس که بجای افکارش زخمهای

تنش را نشانمان دادند و بزرگترین درد اورا بی آبی معرفی کردند !


Anonymous said...

قبلی رو من نوشتم
یه جا دیدم خواستم بخوانید
خیلی جالبه


Assal said...

On Valentine's Day, three years ago, my boyfriend took me to Starbucks in Westwood Village after I finished a class at UCLA. It was raining and I bitched the whole walk over to the coffee shop (I just didn't see the point of having to walk to get coffee when it was raining.) When we got to Starbucks, he steered me away from it and next door to this small jewelry store owned by this old persian jewish man named David. He bought me a very special ring that day that we soon plan on exchanging for a wedding ring.

For Valentine's Day, I'd like it to rain, and I'd wish to have time off from work for both of us, so we can just drive down to LA, park at the dorms, and walk to the coffee shop once again, in the rain. I will appreciate the walk more this time. I promise.

Nazy said...

Salam Marzieh Jan:

Other than the stuff I talk about in my posts, for the most part, I believe that I am not terribly qualified to comment on relationships except to convey my own doubts and questions. I have had my share of mistakes and failures which have taught me valuable lessons, but which have also caused me a lot of pain. So I keep quiet as best as I can!

Have a good evening Marzieh Jan.

Nazy said...

Salam Masoud Jan:

I think you are perfect just as you are! My list is growing and I will soon get started on writing my piece. Thank you for your good vibes for my friends. I will pass them along. Take care.


P.S. If I become really involved in a relationship, I would still write in my blogs and would put my heart in them. Writing is such an important part of my life, I can't see how I could eliminate it anymore. Thanks for asking.

Nazy said...

Salam Ahmad Jan:

Thank you so much for that kind and thorough comment! Wow, I'm really touched.

I think everything and everybody and every relationship has a story which needs to be known to those who are in the relationship and to others who might find that story useful to learn from. I look for those stories and tell them as best as I can. My blessing is to have people who read my writings, and for that I am grateful.

O.K. But San Francisco Bay Area is a hub and most people come here sooner or later. I look forward to seeing you when you do. Stop by anytime. You don't have to leave comments, as many others don't either. It is always a pleasure hearing from you.

Nazy said...

Dear Nasim:

Thank you for sharing that beautiful sentiment. I do regard Valentine's Day more as a day of friendship and closeness than a day of love. I celebrate my friends and family on that day and appreciate the added chance to say that I love them. I think you are so right. We must do it just as that wave of love and friendship hits us, confess it, say our "I love you's" and not wait any longer, because things might change and distances could make this a harder task.

Be good azizam and I look forward to seeing you on Friday, when, hopefully, I will be good as new! Take care azizam.

Nazy said...

Sweet and Beautiful Assal:

What a wonderful wonderful comment you left me! Oh My God, is it true? I loved your Valentine story and I love your news. Call me girl. Let's have tea and chat this weekend. Yippeee!

Assal said...

I would love to get together this weekend but my mom and I will most likely be in Palo Alto again spending those days at Stanford Medical Center. I miss you dearly and miss all the "family" get togethers that I am proud to be a part of! I hope we can get together soon for tea...you should come to our home! We actually have REAL furniture now!!

Also, the Valentine's Day story is 100% real. Parham isn't very outwardly romantic, but he definitely has his brilliant moments!

I miss you and kiss you from afar (well, from six or seven miles away)!!

Nazy said...

Assal Joonam:

My best to your mom and to your Amoo. Whenever you and Parham are ready, you've got yourself a "tea date" my love! Call me babe.