5/10/2008

A Visit

My younger son asked me to iron a shirt for him to wear to work. As I was ironing the shirt, I was keeping an eye on him. He had taken a shower and his long beautiful black hair was pulled into a neat ponytail, his beard had been shaved, and he looked even thinner and taller as his "babyfat" keeps disappearing these days. I know better than to gush over him, so I just admired him in my head. I was trying hard to remember whether I had done things to make my parents hesitate to pay me a compliment when I was his age. Then I thought, well, when I was his age I got married and left their house. As they pointed out to me on many occasions, I didn't give them a chance to do much for me, including gushing over me. I missed them all of a sudden. They were the best parents anyone could have, loving, wise, and generous. As I handed my son his shirt, he said: "Do you remember where I got this shirt? Bababozorg gave it to me." I stopped in my tracks. Did he know what I had been thinking? Or had I known what he was thinking? How come all of a sudden both he and I were thinking about my father?
I think my parents were in my house today, binding my son and me together through our hearts and our memories, bridging that which is difficult to communicate, to say and to hear. I decided to brave it and said to my son: "I think if only my Mom and Dad could see you now, they would be very proud. You look so handsome today and that shirt is so becoming on you." He didn't tell me off or look embarrassed as he normally would. He simply said: "Thank you." I missed my beautiful, radiant, and generous mother and my extraordinary father today, but I am also glad that in some strange way, they visited us today, giving my family a gift of joy.
Happy Mother's Day to you and the mothers in your lives.

36 comments:

امیر عباس نخعی said...

هم خوشحالم هم متاسف.امیدوارم همیشه سایه اونها تو زندگی شما باشه

Nazy said...

سلام آقای نخعی! چه سورپریز خوبی! من اصلا باورم نمیشه شما به من سر بزنید اما من تا قبل از این چند هفتهء اخیر که خیلی گرفتار شده ام، همیشه میامدم و سر میزدم. البته شما هم که خیلی خوب می نویسید، خیلی کم می نویسید! ما اینجا گرفتار نگرانی های متعددی راجع به وضعیت ایران و تهدیدهای مختلف علیه ایران هستیم و بعضی وقتها دلم برای تحلیل های اساسی شما تنگ میشود. لطفا بیشتر بنویسید تا ما هم بفهمیم قضیه از چه قرار است! ممنون از سر زدن. لطفا باز هم بیایید!

Shobeir said...

We can tell your thinking and your son's reaction was just a coincidence...
But I do believe in Einsteins statement that Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous :)
Have a nice time.
SHaad zidd

Nazy said...

Salam Bar Shobeir-e-Mehraban!

Heeh! I had never heard that Einstein quote before! Thank you for the sweet comment and kind words. I have missed you very much. I will try and be better in visiting and in replying to comments. Life has been complicated, in a good way, of late. Be happy Shobeir Jan.

Leva said...

Hi Nazy joonam. I bet they were there. You are so blessed that having such a great family. Their best gift for you is your caring personality, which is really hard to find these days.
....

well, I had typed three more paragraphs, but I decided not to leave them.
Any how, Happy mother day to you and all moms around the world. You are one of the best mom ever.

Nazy said...

Salam Levaee!

Heeh! Staying up until 2:00 a.m. has ts benefits, I guess! I'm delighted to be hearing from you tonight, for one thing!

Thank you for your kind words my friend. I hope you and your wonderful family celebrate Mother's Day with your remarkable mother in a grand way today.

I am sorry the other paragraphs were deleted, but what was left was very welcome just the same. Be good doost-e-man and my best to Mr. Vahid.

Noonoosh said...

It is such a joy to watch ur kids grow up ........I cant imagine missing my parents , however I am sure they watch over u and ur precious boys ........

Nazy said...

Salam Noonoosh Jan:

Thank you for your kind comment. I hope your lovely parents live a wonderful long life. Enjoy them and help them enjoy your life and your accomplishments.

My mother passed away when she was 67, but my father lived until he was 83. They both had wonderful lives and there were no regrets in their lives. This is how I remember them and this is what I wish for everyone, including myself.

Happy Mother's Day to you and your loving mother. I hope you enjoy your day. Thanks again for coming to visit my friend and please forgive my tardiness in replying to your earlier comments.

! said...

سلام
زیبا بود ولی من عمیقا ناراحت شدم
مدتی است ترسی تمام وجودم را در بر گرفته
واقعا نمی دانم با این ترس از دست دادن چیزهایی که دوستشان دارم چه کنم
شاد باشی نازی عزیزم

Nazy said...

سلام بر فرشاد عزیزم.

ببخشید تو را ناراحت کردم. باید بدانی که نوشتهء من از شادی و رضایت عمیق من از آنجایی که در آن زندگی می کنم، یعنی "اکنون" سرچشمه می گیرد و در آن هیچ ناراحتی و اندوهی نیست.

وقتی در "اکنون" زندگی می کنیم، نه از آنچه در گذشته اتفاق افتاده متاسف و پشیمانیم و نه از آنچه در آینده اتفاق خواهد افتاد نگران. ترس از دست دادن عزیزان یکی از بزرگترین نگرانی های بشری است. آنچه زن دانایی روزی که در نگرانی عجیبی غوطه می خوردم به من گفت را به تو می گویم: پرسید قوی ترین، قدرتمند ترین، و مستحکم ترین چیزی که در دنیا می شناسی چیست؟ گفتم خدا. گفت پس آنچه را دوست داری به او بسپار و دست از نگرانی بردار و انرژی ات را معطوف به کارهای سازنده بکن.

از زندگی شیرینت در حلقهء دوستان و خویشانت لذت ببر فرشاد عزیز و پدر و مادر نازنینت را در آغوش بگیر و ببوس و با آنها وقت بگذران و به چیز های بد هم فکر نکن. سلام مخصوص من را همراه با تبریک روز مادر آمریکایی به مادرت برسان. شاد و سربلند باش دوست حساس من.

مسعود said...

سلام نازی خانم
یاد پدر و مادر شما و ما و همه آنانکه در قید حیات نیستند،گرامی باد و برای آنانکه سایه شان بر سر عزیزانشان ست،آرزوی طول عمر با عزت و برکت دارم.بقیه را نمیدانم ،اما من همیشه حسرت این را می خورم که چرا فرصتی نیافتم برای پدر و مادرم کاری بکنم،درخور.
این عکس اگرچه خیلی وضوح ندارد،به نظر می رسد در ایام نوروز انداخته شده باشد!.آن تنگ بلور ماهی قرمز نیست؟
جمله آخر را خیلی هوشمندانه پرداخته ای .دست مریزاد

! said...

وای نازی عزیزم چقدر خوش آینده وقتی تو اون طرف هستی و جواب می دی
مرسی
راستی روز مادر تو هم مبارک
اتفاقا مامان اینا رفته بودم طالقان تازه اومدن یعنی همین الان در واقع
منم روز مادر رو تبریک گفتم و دستورات شمارم انجام دادم ...

Nazy said...

سلام مسعود جان:

ها ها! خوب این بیدار ماندن تا ساعت سه و نیم صبح این خوبی را داشت که بتوانم شما را روی خط "ببینم!"

در سالهای آخر عمر مادرم، ما به ایران بازگشتیم. در طول آن چهار سال، فرصت های زیادی دست داد که با مادرم وقت بگذرانم. آن چهار سال غنیمتی بود که هرگز نمی توانستم در آمریکا به آن دست بیابم.

بعد از فوت مادرم، فرصت خدمت و کمک به پدرم فرا رسید که شیرین بود و پر از خاطرات قشنگی که تا آن زمان ساختن آنها برای من مقدور نبود. من همیشه به دوستانم در آمریکا می گویم منتظر نباشید تا شبی با عجله بلیط رفتن به ایران را فراهم کنید تا به دنبال تابوت عزیزانتان بدوید. بروید و آنها را تا زنده هستند ببینید و پای حرفشان بشنوید و خدمتشان را بکنید. این البته حرف خوبی نیست چرا که برای خیلی ها این امکان وجود ندارد. من موجود خوشبختی بودم که این امکان برایم مهیا شد. البته باید بگویم که هر دوبار که تحت شرایط نامطلوبی ناچار به بازگشت به ایران شدم، خودم نمیدانستم که در ازای تقبل آن شرایط نامطلوب، خدای بزرگ امکان نزدیکی با پدر و مادرم را برای من فراهم کرده است. امروز میدانم.

خدا رفتگان همه را بیامرزد و عزیزان شما را هم برای شما حفظ کند. روز مادر آمریکایی بر همسر مهربان شما مبارک.

پی نوشت: بله، این عکس در نوروز سال 1994 در آپارتمان دانشجویی خواهر من در آمریکا گرفته شده است. شما خیلی تیز بینید!

Nazy said...

فرشاد جان:

برای من هم خوشایند است، به خاطر همین هم با پررویی نشسته ام و نمیروم بخوابم، گرچه که کاملا بی هوش و بی گوش هستم!

طالقان در اردیبهشت چه زیباست! کم کم توت سفید هم از راه می رسد و من چه دلتنگ می شوم. امیدوارم روز تو روز درخشان و قشنگی باشد (درست شنیدم دارد در تهران باران می آید؟ چه بهتر)

خوب. من دیگر رفتم. اما قول می دهم دیگر همهء کامنت ها را زود مثل گذشته جواب بدهم. فرشاد جان فر و شاد باش.

Anonymous said...

Nazy jan,
Happy Mother's day to you. I am sure your parents are and have always been, so proud of you. You are a very good mother & I'm sure they are present.
Best wishes,
Pardis

! said...

نازی جونم امیدوارم خوابهای خوب ببینی
البته توت سفید مدتی است که آمده !
باران هم الان نمی بارد ولی دیروز بارید و چه خوش بارید
اردیبهشت همه جا زیباست
طالقان که غرق در لاله است
راستی نازی جونم می دونی همه اینجا به من میگن یونی فر جان !!!
دکتر معتقده که خیلی به من میاد این عبارت و اسم مناسبیه !!!
خوب خوب بخوابی

Aida said...

Your parents and your sons should be proud of you,Nazy joon.May your parents'souls be in peace and with you.Happy mother day to you.
Cheers,
Aida

Nazy said...

Dear Pardis:

It's good to hear from you! Thank you for your sweet words. You know, I have several other brothers and sisters, each of whom are exceptional individuals in their professional and in their personal lives.

I was the black sheep of this family! I did things nobody else did and I dared to swim against the current a few times! Even in being different and breaking a couple of taboos in my traditional family, I never felt unloved and unsupported by my parents. I saw them trying hard to understand what it was I was trying to do and say and never dismissing my preferencs and decisions.

I don't know how good of a parent I am, really. I know that I have tried my best with whatever I had, that much I know. If and when my children turn into responsible adults, loving and caring and kind, I would know that I did it right! Only when they are husbands and lovers and fathers and professionals will I know whether what I did was right or not. I enjoy their presence in my life and try to do my best, that much I know.

Happy Mother's Day to you, too, Pardis Jan. Please come back again soon.

Nazy said...

Salam Aida Jan:

Thank you for visiting again and for your kind words. I feel my parents around me all the time, sometimes more profoundly and sometimes less. This was the case even when they were still alive but living in another continent--they were always around me. I think it is love of a special texture that makes us feel that way. I think it is our parents' unconditional love for us the like of which we will never experience again, that makes us feel its continuity even after they've been gone a while.

I hope your mother and all the mothers in your life are enjoying this day and that they live to be 100, giving you and their children joy and love.

Be good Aida Jan. Happy Sunday!

Nazy said...

Uni-Far Jan:

I love your name, too! Please give my best regards to Alef Shin whom I miss very much.

Enjoy those mulberries (toot-e-sefid), the flowers, the rain, and my beautiful Iran.

به شکوفه ها، به باران برسان سلام مارا

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Thanks in advance
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Nazy said...

Salam Niloofar Jan:

It's good to hear from you! I would be honored to participate in your survey. I can't see the text, however. It shows up like this:

*1) �� ��� �� ����ی� ���ی �� ���ǐ ��ی�ی �� ����� ���� �ی� �ی���Ͽ

Tell me what to do and I'll do it. I hope you are having a glorious Sunday!

Parinaz said...

someday you wake up in the morning and see that something is wrong; you don't know what is that, but it hurts...
I'm always afraid of that moment;that sad moment which you find out that you have taken them for granted...
you will fall down forever.

Ahmadreza said...

What an emotional cross-thought! While not a parent, it's happened a lot to recall past events from my childhood and evaluate them from a parents' perspective; it gives me such a great feel of appreciation...

Happy Mother's Day Nazy-khanom!

آدم گلابی said...

Nazi jaan,
i am sure they are watching over you all the time. How blessed you are to have had such wonderful parents not to mention what great mother you are. So now I know where your caring personality and old soul come from.
happy Mother's Day Nazi, may your heart and your home be always filled with the warm presence of your loved ones, whether you can see them or not.

Chakameh Azimpour said...

Nazy joon. I just got a chance for myslef and thought come here and tell you 'happy belated Mother's day', and I say your wonderful post about your parents. It was very touching. I wish you always share their memories with your beloved ones, and thanks for sharing it with us today. Lots of Love for you in this special day.
:-))

Nazy said...

Salam Parinaz Jan:

One day I was really worried for my children whom I couldn't locate in Tehran. My older sister told me that I should stop worrying. She said bad news always arrives fast; it is good news that takes a long time to arrive! I have remembered those words and always use them to quiet my worries about those I love. Always anticipate good news in patience and enjoy your life and all those you love here and now. If you love somebody, go and tell them, hug them, and kiss them, all here and now. That's my advice. Have a great Monday my sweet friend.

Nazy said...

Salam Bar Mysterious Ahmadreza:

Thank you for visiting and for your kind words. I tried to figure out who you are, but I couldn't access your profile! You sound wise and kind.

My parents did their best by me and my siblings, I firmly believe that. This belief has helped me through many doubtful moments of parenthood with my children, thinking that I, too, must just try and do my best. Children don't come with a "User's Manual," to be sure! We have to follow our hearts and common sense in raising them. Some days it's easier and some days it's really really hard. When we go through it ourselves, we start developing new appreciation for what our parents did within their resources.

I am glad you feel appreciative of your parents. Believe me, I have met so many people in my lifetime who don't feel that way about their parents for whatever reasons, and their lives are not terribly happy.

Thank you for coming and for saying something! Let me "see" you if you like. If not, just pipe up and say something whenever you feel like it. You are always welcome my friend.

Nazy said...

Golabi, Golabi,

Happy Mother's Day to you, too! You are celebrating your first Mother's Day and that is so exciting! Thank you for your kind and sweet words. Yes, I can feel my parents around me all the time. They continue to be my sources of inspiration and will to go on even in their physical absence.

So, I know Bardia couldn't get you a present! But I'm sure he served as the perfect centerpiece to your celebration today. My kids brought me a huge bouquet of yellow and white daisies. It's sitting right here next to me as we speak.

Be good and happy sweet Golabi.

Nazy said...

Chakameh, Chakameh,

Where are you? I miss you girl!

Thank you very much for your kind words and sentiments. I hope life eases its pace for you and that I will be able to see more of you around these parts, as you are truly loved and missed.

Have a great week my scientist friend.

! said...

حتما نازی عزیزم ...
حتما حتما
توت توت توت
کاش اینجا بودی و میرفتیم توت خوری ...

Assal said...

Happy Belated Mother's Day, Nazy joonam!

Seeing the picture of your parents really made my morning. I feel as close to them in memories as I do to my own grandparents because they were both a part of my childhood and life. I will never forget trips with your father to Lake Tahoe...and once to Las Vegas!! I am glad you felt extra close to them on mother's day and there is no such thing as coincidence...you and Kavi both felt them because they were there watching over you!

I love you and wish you a beautiful week!

Esfand` said...

=) wow! sweet, Im deeply touched.

Nazy said...

Aaaah, beautiful Assal!

You always know what to say to play on my heart! Thank you for remembering my parents so fondly. I remember your maternal grandparents with the same joy.

Is Parham back yet? I hope you are having a fabulous week, too, sweet Assal. I love you, too.

Nazy said...

Esfand Jan:

Thank you very much for coming to visit and for your kind words. It's always a good day when I hear from you. I hope you're blazing through your exams with flying colors! Be good and take care.

Assal said...

PARHAM WILL BE HOME TOMORROW!

HOOORAH!!!