2/21/2008

Discovery Time

Just outside my house on a rainy day.
Before my older son started driving his own car, I used to drive my children around a lot. Those times I spent in the car with them were really good times for me. I could listen to music with them and talk with them, my poor "captive audience!" It seems more and more there is never a time when I drive anywhere with the two of them in my car, and I really miss their company and the resultant stories and lessons I used to learn in the car. I accepted eagerly to give my younger son a ride to college in the pouring rain this morning. The ride was really short, and my passenger being my younger son, the quiet one, I didn't have high hopes of a lively conversation first thing in the morning.
For some reason he asked me if any Iranians work at the Alborz Persian Restaurant in Berkeley. I said: "Yes, two young Iranians work there as waiters." He asked about the kitchen staff and the boss boys. I said I believe them all to be Hispanic. Just thinking about the friendly staff at my favorite hangout in Berkeley, I told him: "And those guys are so nice to me all the time......come to think of it, everyone is always very nice to me.....I think I am very lucky!" In his very quiet and slow way, he said: "Yes, me, too." Something really strange gripped me all of a sudden. My son thinks he is very lucky? Since when? I mean, has he always felt that way or is this something new? Why didn't I know that he feels lucky? Just to be sure I had heard right, I asked calmly: "Really? You feel you are lucky in life?" He replied: "Yes. I even have a four-leaf clover in my wallet." There was silence except for the windshield wipers' sliding across the windshield. My son feels he is lucky and he is superstitious, too? Why didn't I know that? I said: "Wow, a four-leaf clover! Where did you get that?" He said: "My Ammeh Nazy gave it to me in Tehran. Would you like to see it?" I said: "Yes, very much, show me tonight." I started driving the car again very slowly after he had left the car.
As mothers, we feel so knowing about our children's every aspect and characteristic. But past a certain age, there is so much, good or bad, about them which we may not know, leaving room for accidental discoveries about them. All through the day today, I was thinking about my younger son, The Traveler, with his dark unruly long hair always in his eyes, with his funny earrings in one ear and the young beard he refuses to shave and trim, and the too big, loose clothing he likes to sport. That guy thinks he is lucky in life and he carries a four-leaf clover. All day today, I felt strangely lucky to know that guy.

18 comments:

Assal said...

Even though it's been too long, and I miss him dearly....I feel lucky to know The Traveler as well. I hope his four leaf clover continues to bring him luck whereever he goes!

Anonymous said...

خیلی قشنگ احساست رو بیان کردی نازی جون
مثل همیشه.سعی کردم تصور کنم قیافه مسافر عزیزت رو.
پسر قند عسلت رو!!!
چشمک و بای

مرضیه

Daisy said...

Salam Nazy jon,

It's an interesting point. As the children grow up to be an adult, their personality forms and they acquire certain characteristics that maybe so very different or similar to their parents.
But I don't think their parents change much over the years. I've got to the point that I think I know my parents better than they know me. Do you think that might be the case with you and your children as well?

bijan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bijan said...

Hi Nazy
Homeyra tagged me and in turn I have to tag 6 other people. So, I would like to enlist you in this round of tagging game if you don’t mind. Please check out the rules on Homeyra’s or on my blog under Six under 18 memes. Thank you.

مانا said...

آه. بازم آه. بازم آه.چه خوب گفتی نازی عزیز.بازم بگو

Nazy said...

Salam Assal Jan:

Come over anytime my friend! It is always a pleasure seeing your sweet face and hanging out with you. Too bad we will be seeing each other at Hamid's sister's funeral soon, so let's make sure we get together for a happier gathering separately. Have a brilliant weekend my friend!

Nazy said...

Salam Marzieh Jan:

Hee Hee, our children constantly keep us on our toes, no matter how grown-up they get! He is a funny character, to be sure. In the years to come, you will receive similar surprises from your lovely daughter, no doubt. Enjoy your life to the fullest and have a good weekend, Marzieh Jan.

Nazy said...

Salam Daisy Jan:

What a very interesting observation! You are so right! I think I knew my parents a lot better than they knew me, or I know my kids! A light bulb has gone off in my head, and I have you to thank for it! It may have to do with younger people being a lot more dynamic, changing more frequently and more profoundly than older, more mature people, I don't know. Thank you for provoking me to think.

Have a fabulous weekend my friend!

Nazy said...

Bijan Jan:

I went and read your interesting post. Thank you for tagging me. I'll think about the subject and do it soon. Be happy in Southern California, Persian Jan!

Nazy said...

Mana Jan:

Salam. You humble me! You write about your child all the time and I learn so much from you. I have written about my children infrequently, but each time with immense love and respect for their efforts to grow and to be independent and caring adults. Growing up is a hard business. We must acknowledge young people at every turn for the valiant effort it takes to learn and to grow.

Have a fabulous Saturday in Tehran my friend. Happy 2nd Birthday to Shaya, too.

آدم گلابی said...

نازی جان
چقدر قشنگ نوشته بودی چقدر وقتی از بچه هات می نویسی نوشته هات پر از یک حس خیلی عمیقه که اشک منو در میاره
داشتم سعی میکردم قیافه تو و پسرت رو توی ماشین مجسم کنم و راست میگی خیلی چیزا هست که مامان باباها فکر می کنن می دونن ولی این طور نیست یاد خودم و مامانم افتادم

Anonymous said...

سلام نازی خانم
گاهی وقتها آنچنان غرق دیگری- که به اعتبار نسبت از ما دورند- می شویم که از خودی-که به اعتبار حضور بما نزدیکترند- غافل می شویم.
چند وقت است که اینگونه با آنها رابطه ای نداشته ای؟طبعا بسیار به فکر آنها و حوائجشان هستی اما رابطه از جنس نگاه به هستی و آدمیان
و بود و نبود و خوشبختی و فرصت و و و چه؟گفتن اینکه من خوشبختم از زبان یک جوان نو رسیده مبارک و مغتنم است.قدرش را بدان.
شاد و هوشیار باشی

مسعود

Nazy said...

Golabi Jan:

Since I knew about them inside me, my children have given me nothing but joy. Everything about them is special and important to me. Some of it feels joyful right away, and some of it feels joyful in retrospect.

I had to attend car crash scenes, hospitals, and Vozara Complex for my kids. Even those events feel joyful in retrospect, because they had lessons and side stories associated with them which make them funny memories.

You will have exactly the same thing in a little while, when Bardia finds his personality and makes his own choices in life.

Thank you for your compliment. For some strange reason, this particular post has caught the fancy of a journalist in CBS's website, too! She has kindly referred to it in her column: "Eye on Blogs." I was so touched to discover it featured. Take a look:
http://cbslocalblogs.prospero.com/n/blogs/blog.aspx?nav=main&webtag=kpix_eyeonblogs&entry=419

Hee Hee! See? This is why writing in English is rewarding to me. Iranians AND Americans can read in English.

Have a good weekend my sweet friend.

Nazy said...

Salam Masoud Jan:

You are so right. We must always be vigilant and pay attention to people closest to us. Though as young adults, our children do adopt their own lives and styles, as a mother, I walk a thin line of staying in close touch with them and resisting smothering them.

I try, but sometimes I do get surprised, too! Thank you for your advice.

zan amrikai said...

Oh, Nazy, why can't I live nearby? I want to be the other passenger in the car with you after you drop him off so that we can look at each other with eyes open like, "WOW. How about THAT?!" We could go have a cup of tea or coffee and talk about our children and what it is to watch them become themselves. God bless you for your writing.
Zan Amrikai

Nazy said...

Zan Amrikai Joonam:

Salam! You are absolutely right! You should be here right next to me, so we can chat and compare notes about kids and life! How far away are you, anyway? You know the world is a lot smaller than we think. In the absence of travel and face-to-face meeting opportunities, let's keep talking in the only ways available right now, hoping to meet soon.

It is always a good day when I hear from you. Please keep showing yourself to me my brave friend. I am sending you huge waves of affection and good vibrations as I write these words.

Anonymous said...

This was a great read. It made me quite emotional, in fact. It does not matter how close we are to our children or how much we think we know them. They always manage to surprise us.

Hamed.