Friends

My friend, Hadi, outside my office today at noon.

It's Friday. As usual, I will talk about friendships tonight. Before I talk about them too generally, however, I want to talk about them a little more specifically. I would like you all to meet my friend, Hadi. Hadi was the first "new friend" I met in the new life I have been living over the past two years. He and I met in Dr. Taheri's Persian Literature class on "Adabiat-e-Mashrooteh." He works on campus, so he and I see each other regularly, talk on the phone, or have lunch together. He is from Mashad, but came to US when he was only 14, so there was a lot he still hadn't learned about Iran and being an Iranian. Hadi has taught himself how to be a good Iranian. For example, he takes pride and immense discipline in teaching himself advanced Farsi literature, memorizing poems and discovering new poets. He is an engineer during the day and teaches private Farsi classes to his friends' kids on some evenings. Hadi is kind and generous and extremely ba marefat. Three times over the past two years I was stuck somewhere with an emergency or dilemma, and didn't know whom to call. Hadi is the one I called, and he came and "rescued" me! When I had that horrible accident on Highway 24, I called him all shaken up and more than a little disoriented. He came and got me and talked to the police officer and the tow truck driver. He is a very good man, a good Iranian, and a wonderful friend. Though usually silent, I know he reads me all the time, because when I ask him where he has been, he says "I know you have been O.K." When I jumped out of my office today to take a picture of him, he wouldn't stand still, and it took several tries to get this photo. It is very descriptive of his character, I think.

My kids' friend, Shervin, is here from Iran. My kids are so excited. Shervin has a girlfriend he loves in Iran, so it's hard for him to stay here long enough to get used to his American life. Every so few months he gets in a plane and goes to Iran to be near her. He is 22, and has already gone to her khastegari three times, each time hearing a big, fat NO from her parents. We will see how long he lasts here this time. When I see him I'll talk to him about the importance of an education, patience, and doing things at the right time. I'm sure my kids will not appreciate my fozooli, but I will do it, because I have my own friendship with this young guy.

Remember, appreciate, and honor your friends this week if you can. Many times in our lives, when we are too desperate to brave explaining things to our families, we reach out for our friends, the ones who are there to listen, to come, and to help. Take pictures of your friends, call them, invite them to your home and make them some tea. Take comfort in remembering that adult friends are a big asset in an individual's life--the ones who will tell you things the way they are, braving your anger and anguish, but staying by your side, doing you a service. If you like, send me your photographs of your friends and I will post them to honor them. My friends have saved me from insanity more than once. It's true, they have danced, eaten, and partied with me a thousand times. But they came to my parents' funerals, to visit me in hospitals, to Vozara Complex to pick up my son, to collect me from an airport all broken and desolate, or rushed to my side when I called them in the middle of the night, sobbing and telling my incoherent tale of sorrow. Friends are important. Without them, we would be lonely and short of an important piece of ourselves and our identities. Call them, see them, kiss and hug them, surprise and photograph them, and show them your love. Have a fabulous weekend and be good y'all.