8/25/2007

Shower

I was on “super slow motion,” today (you know, the feature used in video re-plays of sports competitions on TV). Everything was slower than usual, and whatever didn’t absolutely have to be done, wasn’t. I was slowing down from a lot of stress, speed, responsibility, and intensity in my life. My plans to go up to Sacramento to visit my sister were cancelled early this morning, and the whole day stretched ahead without any appointments, commitments, deadlines, or people breathing down my neck for something. As I look back at what I accomplished today, I am a little embarrassed to say that my only real accomplishment of the day was taking a shower. I took a long shower, the likes of which I cannot take anymore, it seems. Standing under the running water, I made myself feel the water, listen to the sound, try and open my eyes to see it and feel it inside my eyes, open my mouth to feel the water on my tongue, and fight the urge to cut it and run, as I do every single day. I let the water run and run, visualizing it washing my pressures away, cleaning and draining the stressful thoughts that fill my head, rolling down to my poor neck and shoulders which these days feel burdened and heavy and in pain all the time, taking those pains into the drain. I imagined it polishing my mind, my nerves, my spine, my soul. I willed it to cleanse me and unburden me, washing my worries, my pains, and the tears that had joined the water, letting go of my heart. That’s what I accomplished today. A shower.

13 comments:

مانا said...

نازی جون بعضی وقتها اتفاقات اون جوری که مامی خواهیم از آب در نمی آیند ولی ما که آینده را نمیدانیم. شاید این اتفاق در این لحظه باعث رویداد های بهتری برای ما در آینده شود.من نمی دونم چرا این حرف هارا برای شما می نویسم؟شما خودتون ازهمه بیشتر و بهتر میدانید.شاد و پر انرژی باشید

يكي مثه همه said...

باسلام
وبلاگتان بسيار خواندني و جالب است.
نگارش انگليسي شما بقدري بي ايراد است كه من نمي توانستم باور كنم شما ايراني هستين
ضمنا از اينكه تا اين اندازه به ايران و فرهنگ و ادبيات آن علاقه منديد از شما ممنونم
به شما افتخار مي كنيم.
يكي مثه همه

SERENDIP said...

All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.

- Anatole France

Nazy said...

Salam Mana Jan. Thank you for your beautiful poem in the "Sohrab" post. I am staying quiet in that post, except for writing poems for now. It has such a wonderful feel, I don't want to disturb it. If you think of other poems you would like to share, do go back and share with us.

I hope this post didn't make me sound sad! I'm well and kicking, and nothing bad has happened to me! I lead a complicated life, Mana, full of activity, commitments, and responsibilities, and occasionally I have to stop and reflect and contemplate. This is a fairly common occurrence for me. If I don't write about it, no one would be the wiser! Thank you for your, as usual, kind comment. Be good azizam.

Nazy said...

Yeki Jan: First, Salam and welcome. Second, you don't appear as "one just like all the rest!" You appear to be a very intelligent young woman. I went to visit your blog. I am proud of you for having won that research award. Congratulations! That's absolutely marvelous Yeki Jan! Thank you for coming to visit and please do come back. My home is your home.

Nazy said...

Serendip-e-Ziba: Oh, how poignant! It makes me think: When we leave a life behind, we become melancholic and sometimes we mourn it. If, as Anatole France suggests, in the process we die and are reborn ourselves, too, are we also mourning the person that we were in the other life? Reading your message this morning has been an eye-opener, but then again, I expect no less of you my dear.

! said...

- سلام !
من واقعا از صدای آب لذت عمیقی می برم
...
گزیرشهای (کامنتهای) پست قبل خیلی جالب بود من در آخرش یه لیست کامل از اشعار نا شنیده بعضا و جالب شعرای معاصر پارسی گو رو اضافه کردم
ببخشید نازی عزیز به خاطر گزیرشهای زیاد من ..
من اینجوریم یه هو دیوانه وار گزیرش می ذارم و ...
any way sorry ...
tehre is not any obligation for you to answer them ...
feel free !!

Nazy said...

Dear Universal Farshad:

You can never leave "too many comments," as there is nothing more rewarding for me than to know that I am reaching an audience who finds my blog engaging enough to write and to share their thoughts.

Yes, I am keeping an eye on all your wonderful and precious poetry contributions in the "Sohrab" post. I am delighted. I am keeping quiet on that post except through poetry for now. Be good Uni-far jan. Come back again anytime.

! said...

:)
thanks ...

SERENDIP said...

Nazy jan: We mourn the person we were all of our lives. We start to die as soon as we come out the womb and for their rest of our lives try to get back to it.

We mourn our youth, our naivete, our sense of invincibility, our not-knowing the pitfalls ahead, our spontaniety, even our ignorance and everything that made us think we were the center of the universe. But we mourn because we need to learn that the old self is no longer of any use and with this sudden or sometimes slow realization, we are primed to learn new lessons so we grow instead of stagnating.

Remember the leaves are their most striking and vibrant colors as they are about to fall of the tree.

SHobeir said...

نیکان زمانه تا ابد درگیرند
از دست حسودان چمن دلگیرند
زیبنده بود که با تو باشند دمی
یک لحظه بیا که عالمی در گیرند

Why not concentrate on the first letter of each verse? ;)

Shaad ziid...
By the way I can say nothing about your post :(

Nazy said...

Thank you Serendip. You continue to open my eyes this morning!

When I went to Yosemite National Park a few years back, among all the beautiful giant trees in the national park, I could see occasional fallen trees. I asked someone why they would leave the dead trees behind. I was told that they did not wish to disrupt the ecosystem of the park by removing the fallen trees, because as they decompose and eventually disappear, these old trees become the compost, the fertilizer for the standing trees.

I believe that if we have lived a good life and have done all that we should have done, even in our deaths, we continue to benefit those who were touched by us when we were alive, and then they will go on to do the same.

Thanks for your as usual thoughtful comment my friend.

Nazy said...

Shobeir! You witty poet! I now have my own "Nazy" poem! How fabulous. It is a beautiful poem, too. This one is going to go sit on my desk at work to remind me of you and make me smile everyday! How delightful!

Don't worry my friend, you said exactly the right thing in relation to this post!

Be happy my young friend.