Tu Quieres Volver

I used to think I could never again listen to this song. I thought remembering the memories would surely generate enough pain and emotion to warrant some major physical side effect! I thought I wouldn't be able to handle the parade of memories of lost dreams in my mind. I was sure it would kill me to face that sadness. Tonight, as I put myself to rest from a very long day and many days of piled up thoughts, commitments, and emotions, I listen to this song, putting some of those memories to rest, too. They have stayed long enough. They have pained and hurt enough. The memories must go. As a major house cleaning (khooneh takooni) takes place in my heart and mind, I must be brave enough to keep the good and let go of the sad. The song, which I love, written by the Gypsy Kings and performed by Sarah Brightman, stays.


jeerjeerak said...

Nazy jan, brave brave thing you did. May your heart be filled with very many good memories as you move on.

MAyAM said...

That was exactly what I needed to read tonight having drawn back into painful memories.
I needed to see that someone else have had the same fears and have been able to overcome them.
Thanks for that. You might not know but you just made my day!
Wish you the best in life.

serendip said...

'Goodbye My lover' by James Blunt:

Did I disappoint you or let you down?

Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Video:James Blunt


Nazy said...

Thank you Jeerjeerak Jan.

Nazy said...

Dear Mayam: I couldn't tell whether you are Iranian, so I left the Iranian endearment of "Jan" out. Consider yourslef a "Jan" if you are Iranian!

Thanks for coming and thanks for your heart-felt remark. I don't want to talk about the subject of this post at this time, as I'm going through my tribulations. I want to thank you for your commeraderie, though. Come again.

Nazy said...

Thoughtful Serendip: I know that song. I have cried to it more times than I care to remember. As everything has a story for me (!) I should like to tell you the story of this song.

When I was going through a very hard time with a broken heart, trying to be brave and strong (and failing quite frequently!), one day my younger son brought me a present. It was a bouquet of Shiraz Narcissus (Narges-e-shiraz), and a CD. I listened to the CD. It had this song on it, plus some similar songs. Listening to the CD made me cry some more, but this time not because of sadness. I cried because that day I knew that my 16-year-old son is a sensitive and caring person, aware of the feelings of those around him, a much too rare occurence if you ask me. Thanks for reminding me of it today. Be good azize delam.

ahmad said...

Now that you are doing "khone-takoni", may I suggest this one... this one leaves no regret in doing so!

... I will survive
as long as i know how to love
I know I will stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give ...


Nazy said...

Salam Bar Ahmad:

Welcome and thanks for your comment. You must be a fascinating man to know what my girlfriends and I sing together(at the top of our lungs, no less) each time we get together! Haha, that is a delightful surprise! I am going to go take a look at that fabulous Gloria Gaynor again. Thank you for coming and thank you for the gift of (very sensitive!) music. Be good Ahmad Jan.
...I've got all my life to live
...I've got all my love to give...

Shabnam said...

Oh Nazy joon, i adore you so much and i recognise the sadness that you feel when you hear this song. And i hate that something made you feel that. We all have 'Our' song... Infact many of us have several. In Gipsy Kings (for me) it has to be "Trista Pena". Kills me everytime. Otherwise it can be Pearl Jam "Black" and so many others, you wouldnt believe. When i come to see your beautiful face, i will bring my iPod, and you can hear my favourite tear-jerkers (And laugh hysterically!) Sometimes its good to have these songs as a reminder of certain people & certain situation, and how we felt, because its what shapes us as people. All i can say, is that years down the line, i can hear most of the songs on my list, and they dont evoke inner sadness, but instead memories of a somewhere in my life, very distant, many years ago. And when the song fades, so does the memory. Thankfully.

Nazy said...

Salam Shabnam Jan. Well, you know most of THIS story, my dear. Do come soon and bring your IPod, though I think our limited time together will be spent on talking about other things. Thanks for your sweet comment Shabnam Jan.