2:00 P.M. Heartbreak
My American friend says: "I think my husband wants a divorce." I say: "Stop talking about a divorce! You have been married for 25 years. Why are you thinking that?" She says: "He doesn't want to talk to me, doesn't want to touch me, and when I ask him what is the matter, he says he is not ready to discuss it with me." I say: "If he isn't talking about a divorce, chances are he doesn't want a divorce, he is just unhappy for some reason, maybe a mid-life crisis, maybe the symptoms of 'an empty nest,' some loneliness and bereavement people feel when their kids move out. You mustn't be the one bringing up a divorce if you don't want it. Your children are grown now and this is the time for the two of you to start enjoying your life together." She cries and says: "He doesn't pay any attention to me; he was so mean to me on Christmas Day; he didn't get me a present, and didn't open the present I gave him, saying I shouldn't have bothered." This one brings back too many sad memories for me. So, I cry, too. How many times have I heard this scenario before? Though divorces are entirely too common, unfortunately, most people don't realize how much pain awaits them in the wake of a long-standing marriage. Knowing that pain, however, never enables me to stop it from happening to others I know. I think the decision to divorce is not one that people make overnight. It usually takes them years to make, whether they are aware of it or not, which is why it is not easily changed just through friendly advice. I told my friend to go see a marriage counselor, but she says he is not interested. It sounds bad to me, and it makes me sad.